Our early influences

16 Mar 2016

We may want to start maintaining our own morality, if our children are going to have a chance of being raised in a moral way. It stands to reason that the more moral the parent, the more moral the child will be.

A parents’ sensitivity to other people’s feelings and injustices can influence early moral development in their children. I think it’s what we, as parents should be striving for. I also believe it’s important for family members, including extended family, anyone looking after our children, to have the same moral standing.

Do we take time to consciously think about our moral standing on a daily basis. We know what we know, we do what we do, but we often fail to think about how what we do, will impact others in the longer term. Perhaps we should consciously think about it more.

Perhaps also we should take the time to work things through instead of leaving our parenting to chance, in the hope that our children will come out okay. We should be empathetic, compassionate and conciliatory in our approach to problems, whilst incorporating patience and tolerance, whether we’re a parent or not.

The right influences go a long way to help build the foundations for any child later in life. It’s not just down to the parents, but influences must be uniform, across the board. We should want to guide in a way that serves children better. Not only will it go some way to helping children, but it will also make us better people.

It’s a far better way for us to live and really believe it needs to be embraced.

4 Responses to “Our early influences”

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  1. Tim 16. Mar, 2016 at 4:21 pm #

    I remember having long summer talks with my Dad about the madness of religion, goodness, truth, justice and morality, as he did everything he could to shield me from the world’s disappointments. My father made me think clearly and deeply about things and I’m forever grateful for his influence.

    Too many bad people are tinkering with the minds of children today and parents are raising souls we don’t need, only because morality is not taught in the home.

    • Ilana 16. Mar, 2016 at 4:35 pm #

      Thanks Tim. I’m amazed at how much insight your father had and think it wonderful that he shared what he knew with you.

      Although it’s a parents job to do what your father did, your early experiences with your father has clearly shaped you into the person you have become. Your words speak volumes and your understanding of what you were taught as a child is vast. You clearly come from a place of knowing.

      Not all parents will be capable of giving their children what you were given. I’m not sure how much of that is down to bad parenting or just a ‘lack of knowing.’ I do think though that depending on where parents are emotionally, they will either encourage and continue to encourage their children, or will simply ignore their emotional needs.

      There is no doubt that our early influences are the most crucial and will either set us up for success or can leave us fighting for survival. However parents parent, there needs to be some unity with that so children don’t come out with mixed messages.

      From some of my own experiences, I believe the latter to be true.

  2. Randy 18. Mar, 2016 at 1:15 am #

    My early influences were very negative and distorted so it’s no wonder I lost my way! I was forced to be selfish and manipulative to an extent that warped any sense of morality that I had as a child.

    I was expected to behave in ways that went against everything I believed in, by the very people that were supposed to be raising me. They used us as pawns against each other, yet tried to portray that we had the ‘perfect’ home life, when it was so far from the truth.

    We were forced to be silent about the truth for so long that eventually you forget what the truth really was. No wonder we’re all so screwed up!

    The reality now is that I have to develop my own moral compass and unlearn a lifetime of thought patterns that are so wrong. They allowed me to survive and exist which isn’t conducive to actually living.

    I have a daughter who is technically all grown up now but has been kept sheltered from life because I couldn’t speak up for her. My influence on her was to play it safe to avoid being hurt, but then you never get to experience anything out of life, good or bad.

    I’m having to take a long look at my life, to decide what it is that I want to do with my life! I have allowed other people to make my choices for me, since it was what I was used to, but I do have the right to choose my own path.

    It may be right or it may be wrong, but at least it will be my own personal decision!

    • Ilana 18. Mar, 2016 at 3:57 pm #

      Thanks Randy. Yes, our own personal decisions are good!

      I think you’re right about a lifetime of thought patterns. It’s fine if those thought patterns are helpful thought patterns that allow us to move forward with our lives, but from our experiences, some of those thought patterns were negative and unhelpful and held us back.

      As parents we tend to do what we feel or think is right. Sometimes we do it to protect our children; sometimes for a quiet life depending on the circumstances. We cannot be blamed for that. Our circumstances are usually as a result of our parents’ parenting us and we’re not responsible for that.

      All earlier influences are important. They shape us into who we become and pave the way for an easier transition into adulthood.

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