Our secret lives

Our secret lives are just that, secret. Our secrets are based on information that we know about but we don’t talk about. And although that’s not always bad and it may sometimes be necessary, it very much depends on the secret and whether the secret we’re keeping is going to be detrimental to our health.

The jury is still out on exactly how harmful secrets are. Previous studies reported that keeping secrets comes at a high cost to our health. (“Finkenauer, Engels & Meeus, 2002; Finkenauer & Rime, 1998; Masuda, Anderson, Wendell, Chou, Price, & Feinstein, 2011; Uysal, Lin, & Knee, 2010; Wismeijer, 2011.”)

Any secret we become pre-occupied with has the capacity to be detrimental to our health. Being pre-occupied with is often the cause of long-term health issues. A secret may be pre-occupying and all-consuming for one person, but may be shrugged off by someone else.

How we handle ourselves make us ill?

Sadly, it’s not the secret or the content of the secret that’s harmful. It’s us revisiting the secret and turning it over in our thought that makes what we’re carrying harmful.

It’s the not being able to shift that thought process, being stuck in the same mind-set, it’s the not sleeping at night, feeling uncomfortable just by knowing we know something others don’t.

Perhaps that’s reason enough for us to sort things out.


11 Oct, 2017

2 thoughts on “Our secret lives

  1. Secrets give me shelter until I find someone I trust. Then I’ll rip off my mask and tell.

    In the meantime, it’s hard to live, knowing your secrets are trying to kill you.

    1. Yes, totally. Your last paragraph Tim sums up your response beautifully. In some cases, yes absolutely on the money. Imagine a lifetime of secrets, all of which we know we struggle with.

      Personally, I don’t advocate secrets, but it also depends on the secret and whether what we’re not talking about is going to harm us long term.

      There are some cases where things are better left unsaid. It depends on who we’re keeping the secret from and why.

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