Ours not to take

My life woke me up last night. Well certain aspects did anyway, but luckily it wasn’t too early. As I continue to work on my health, I continue to work on the other things that have the potential to affect my health.

Although we often live with the consequences of other people’s behaviour, I now begin to wonder and continue to ask myself, whether it’s more important for us to sew a seed, or find a place on the things we have yet to resolve through other people’s actions.

I have been very open about my struggles with the ignorance and negativity and the not knowing I had Cerebral Palsy, needing others who should have been taking responsibility for me, to take responsibility. I need to feel differently about it. I shall explain.

Although I believe we should always sew a seed, I also think there’s a time when that won’t work and where what we’re trying to do becomes counter-productive. It’s not right of course, but it is what it is. It will all depend on the very person we’re trying to sew the seed with.

If we have someone who is open to our concerns and feelings, sewing a seed will always work and although it’s always right to want to see a seed and is the right thing to do, trying to sew a seed with someone who doesn’t care, isn’t interested or doesn’t agree with us, will only serve to make our lives more miserable, the more we keep trying.

Even if someone doesn’t accept they’re accountable on this or the other side of life, doesn’t mean they’re not and even if they claim not to understand, that is exactly what they are. We can’t convince someone who doesn’t want to be convinced.

On our part, we know what we know. The facts will always speak for themselves. What’s done can never be erased, in the same way our opinions on what others have done can never be erased. The other person will always know the truth whether they admit the truth to us or not and that should be enough.

At the end of the day letting go and keeping our sanity has to be more important than the deed itself. Because it’s not our deed we shouldn’t hold on.


28 Oct, 2014

6 thoughts on “Ours not to take

  1. What gets me is when you prove someone else is wrong they get mad about it and blame you for their wrongness.

    You can’t win or loose with some people. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. To me sewing seeds is sometimes a waste of time and energy. I don’t have time for people like that.

    People need to learn to accept responsibility for their actions, and accept the truth.

    1. I understand your frustrations Lisa. People already know what they’ve done, but fail to come forward and say what they’ve done. It is because people fail to own up to what they’ve done that we need to sew a seed.

      Sewing a seed allows us to give up feeling bad or taking and living with someone else’s guilt. It’s telling the other person what they’ve done and that we know that is exactly what they’ve done!

      From my own experience we tend to carry other people’s guilt, when they don’t own up to their part of responsibility. Sewing a seed allows us to let go of carrying other people’s guilt.

      I would say that is the most important tool we have for moving forward with our lives and letting go of other people’s issues that clearly don’t belong to us.

  2. I have been through the same thing with people in my life and I’ve realized that sometimes we have to give ourselves the love and acceptance that we wish we could get from other people.

    1. Thanks Nisha. I totally agree with you.

      Giving ourselves love and acceptance that we should get from others unconditionally is something we should all do, but is something we must learn how to do first.

      That part of our lives isn’t so easy to do, but you’re right. We wouldn’t have to do things like ‘sew a seed’ with people, if they came from a place of love and acceptance.

  3. I agree. We must not own the crap someone else hands out. They are responsible for that and not us and ultimately accountable.

    It really is so wrong that you were not told about your CP, but found out about it so late. That was one hundred percent down to your parents and nothing to do with you; so my view is there is nothing for you to do with that as it wasn’t about you, it was about them.

    We have plenty to be accountable for, but that doesn’t include someone else’s actions and words.

    1. Yes we do and you’re right. When someone doesn’t take responsibility for their actions, it’s difficult for us not to take what they’ve done as guilt. That’s been my problem, but I have come to learn over the years that what happened to me hasn’t got anything to do with me.

      Unfortunately it doesn’t stop our unconscious mind playing out all the usual negativity we have to deal with and it’s those thoughts that periodically come to the surface and changes the way we think and that spirals into other areas of our lives and can be responsible for us underachieving.

      Writing this blog now, in the way I have written it, brings with it a new understanding. I feel more calm and am ready to let go. It takes away my need to hold on, whilst continuing to highlight our responsibilities and why we are still accountable, whether we accept that we are or not.

      That part of anyone’s issues are so important.

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