Pull and push factors

Push and pull factors not only occur when we’re thinking about changing jobs and what may push and pull us to accept one job over another, but push and pull factors also apply to life, particularly relationships.

It’s not something we stop to think about because relationships are often formed on an unconscious level.  What starts as a fairy tale beginning can sometimes turn into something dramatic and explosive. It might be the never-ending back and forth that plays havoc on what may seem to have started as a happy, tolerant and compassionate relationship.

Sadly, arguments aren’t just subjected to a relationship between two people. The push and pull factor can happen at any time, but often start when relationships begin to bed down and our unconscious experiences set in. As relationships continue, the push and pull factor becomes a daily fixture, brought about through our many experiences and then outside interferences.

Where we’re expected to fall into line with other people’s lives, fallouts may start to occur. There may also be other push and pull factors to consider. It depends on the relationship and why unions are initially formed. Not everyone goes into a relationship for the right unconscious reasons, it depends what we’re running away from. Relationships sadly aren’t always based on love.

Sometimes we form relationships to escape difficult home lives, difficult parents, looking for stability and financial gain, but if it’s a case of boy meets girl, girl meets girl, or boy meets boy and the only factor is true love, those relationships will stand the test of time.

Finally, when we come into relationships with emotional unconscious wounds, there will always be pull or push factors attached to those relationships.


2 Sep, 2017

4 thoughts on “Pull and push factors

  1. There are push and pull factors in almost all decisions we make. Decisions about relationships are especially complicated, as we have a heart and a heart often telling us different things.

    At the end of the day with the right communication and respect, relationships can be worked on and should we need to make a decision; we have to be certain it is one we are comfortable with, even though it may not necessarily please others.

    1. Thanks, yes when it comes to affairs of the heart, it’s not something you can argue with or against.

      With divorce rocketing, it is clear that people go into relationships, not always for the right reasons and then come out because there’s nothing holding the relationship together.

      I agree with you about having a push and pull factor in almost all decisions we make. It’s sad though, because if people were aware of this earlier on, they would think about their decisions more fully, before making the final decision.

      Perhaps the lesson here is that we need to stand back first, work out the pros and cons and make a decision based on our workings out. We tend to get pulled along in life and that’s where I think we’re going wrong.

      We’re not consciously thinking about our decisions. We’re basing our decisions on our unconscious experiences, wants and needs.

  2. I recognize everything you’ve said in this blog, I’ve lived it. The pull and push factors, not knowing whether to love or forget the person I was impressed with.

    I guess it all comes down to Brad’s last paragraph, since I should be listening rather than talking, on this subject anyway.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, we must learn to listen to ourselves rather than listen to others and think about what makes us, us.

      If we got that right, I believe we would understand all the push and pull factors that make up our circumstances and because of that we’d be more in tune with ourselves.

      And I agree with both you and Brad. Where we put others first, others don’t always put us first. Perhaps it’s also that which needs to change.

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