Stop drawing comparisons

9 May 2017

We must stop comparing our show reel to another person’s. Their show reel isn’t ours, so it would be wrong to compare ourselves, as if it were.

Our lives may not start out perfectly and we may end up living with insecurities, but as we continue to compare, we will spend a lifetime drawing comparisons. Whilst we’re doing that, we will never rid ourselves of our insecurities.

We get to choose whether we lose them of course, but to do that we must start to believe in ourselves, believe in our abilities, believe we’re good enough, distance ourselves from the negativity and work on strengthening our inner core. Move away and move on from those who spend their lives bringing us down, making us feel guilty for how we feel.

Insecurities are nothing more than irrational, but because we don’t stop to look at our lives, what we have, or who we have around us, it’s easy to see why those insecurities stay irrational and we stay insecure. Insecure feelings on the inside will always mirror how we cope on the outside.

So how do we get past our insecurities?

Well we should use reflection as a tool to quantify, analyse and bring clarity back into our lives. We must begin to look at our life from the outside in, as if we were looking at another person’s life, reading their story back. Be honest about what you see and own what is yours.

We must choose to see ourselves and our experiences head on and only keep what belongs to us and let go of the rest. By looking at ourselves objectively, we can begin to build new sturdier foundations.

The more we continue to believe in ourselves, the more we shall continue to emotionally grow, the less insecure we will stay; that when our inner core heals, our insecurities will lessen and the comparisons will stop.

6 Responses to “Stop drawing comparisons”

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  1. Tim 09. May, 2017 at 9:37 pm #

    People with older souls like us stay away from negativity, because the math says it’s destructive, we know that.

    But even when I remove myself it comes for me anyway.

    • Ilana 09. May, 2017 at 10:08 pm #

      Thanks Tim. Perhaps people with older souls have more experience, are likely to understand the pitfalls more and therefore will make better choices.

      I can’t help but think your last paragraph refers to the fact that the more uneasy people are, the less happy they are within their own emotional space, the more negative behaviour they will display.

      On our part, we don’t look for trouble, will remove ourselves where we feel it’s necessary, but we can still be in the wrong place at the wrong time, with people who emulate this type of behaviour.

  2. Bonnie Johns 11. May, 2017 at 7:28 am #

    Thank you Ilana and another great reminder! Just the other day, I was speaking to my daughter about comparing our lives to other people.

    Then just today I caught myself doing the same thing. I can’t tell my child to not compare, when I’m doing the same thing and most of the time not realizing it.

    • Ilana 11. May, 2017 at 8:31 am #

      Thanks Bonnie. Yes, that’s the thing, we draw comparisons and have been doing it for so long, we don’t even know we’re doing it!

      It becomes harder for those of us with something we deal with and that’s often the reason we will start to compare. And all that does of course, is drag our emotions and our mood down even further, as we continue to compare and draw more comparisons of how we would like to be.

  3. Bonnie Johns 11. May, 2017 at 4:18 pm #

    Yes for sure! I feel it’s a nasty cycle, we as humanity should all practice to break.

    Of course we’re reminded when we come into contact with stuck up “successful” people. I think it’s great when that happens, to stop and look at our own lives and realize how hard we’ve worked for what we have and remember how humble we really are.

    Something some people don’t have, or have the capability, or care, of even understanding.

    • Ilana 11. May, 2017 at 4:35 pm #

      Thanks Bonnie. Yes, there are some who clearly have those character traits you talk about, but I’m not sure how necessary it all is in the bigger scheme of things. I think that’s where we’re going wrong.

      Unfortunately though, when people deal with confidence issues, comparisons will always be drawn and where money is concerned, comparisons will continue to be drawn.

      I find it sad, but consciously we must all continue to be aware if we are to change how we choose to deal with others.

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