I never really understood what I was dealing with as a child as far as my physical problems were concerned, what my symptoms meant or what they even were and I still don’t know everything I need to know about what I deal with now, 47 years on.
I was researching Cerebral Palsy on the internet last night and came across a Wikipedia note outlining the part of my brain that became damaged as a result of my stroke, called the Cerebrum (although the disorder is likely to involve connections between the cortex and other parts of the brain) such as the Cerebellum. Symptoms are linked to the way the brain is affected even though the same part of the brain is generally involved in those who suffer with Cerebral Palsy.
The Cerebellum plays an important role in motor control. It is also responsible for cognitive function such as language and attention which I have difficulty with. I start attentively then lose the ability to listen, as if a switch turns off in my brain. If I’m interested in something I manage slightly better, but I still fail to concentrate to any great length. I also have brain fatigue, which adds to the problems with my concentration.
Being completely cross-wired, I am also over-sensitive to touch, so have enormous difficulty with touch and being touched. The connections between my brain and my body are not wired in the same way that an undamaged brain is. I simply don’t feel. I would like to be more accepting of my condition, but in order to do that, I need to understand more.
I’m hoping that being more informed will help me and those around me accept my shortcomings, so that I can live alongside Cerebral Palsy comfortably. At the moment that’s not the case. I spend my life being judged for my shortcomings.
When I didn’t know that I had Cerebral Palsy I was blissfully ignorant of my symptoms, of it. As I grow older, I have no idea what my future living with Cerebral Palsy will hold and that seems very scary to me. I will blog again, as I find out more.