The Undateables

There is a TV programme in the UK called ‘The Undateables,’ which is centred around those people who are mentally and physical disabled, who get to go out on dates like the rest of us and they’re then renamed ‘The Dateables.’

I just love the sentiment behind the programme. I love the fact that those living with a mental or physical disability, get to date other people like themselves who struggle with the same or different conditions that primarily stops them from leading a normal life.

I love the naivety and often find myself resonating with that side of their personalities.  I love the banter and the innocence between them and how over time through their challenges they sometimes a mutual understanding and love.

Of course, they don’t struggle in the same way ordinary people do, but through more simplistic struggles, those struggles will sometimes seem massive. As the show takes us through their relationships, the viewer is shown a better way to be.

Although the show isn’t wittingly sending a message out to its audience, you can’t help but think about their struggles sympathetically. And where people with disabilities have the right help, love and support, there is always hope.

But as soon as the cameras stop rolling, in our busy lives, we forget what people with a disability continue to go through. Perhaps, therefore, we need to be more empathetic, have more compassion and show more tolerance.

The world needs more of the right attitudes towards those dealing with a disability. It’s not enough to just talk about it, without changing attitudes and perceptions.


8 Nov, 2017

6 thoughts on “The Undateables

  1. I have watched this programme and couldn’t agree more with you.

    I think programmes like The Undateables should be watched in schools, so that children grown up with less ignorance, a better understanding and with less prejudice around disability.

    1. Thanks. Yes, I agree but I’m not sure how do-able that would be, but dealing with disability and ignorance could be taught as part of the curriculum, in the same way sex education is taught now.

      I also think some parents need to do more. Being taught patience, tolerance, empathy and compassion is all self-taught, But it has to be done early on, for it to be like a second skin.

      You only have to pick up a paper or watch the news to know that’s not going on right now. If anything, where once there was tolerance; there seems to be less now.

  2. We’re all the same, with unique differences and challenges, but we’re still all the same. The only difference may be the condition of our souls.

    It really makes my heart burn when people refuse to understand that and separate themselves, it’s too silly. I hope the Undateables reach my viewing area, so I can be refreshed by it too.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, absolutely. The show taps into the very idea that being disabled or not, we still want and have the same primary basic needs.

      To give love and be loved in return by someone special.

  3. I guess I’ll have to check it out, but not quite sure of how I feel about this show.

    I have been wondering about this in my daughter’s case, seeing as I know that she hasn’t been on a lot of dates. She’s a beautiful, sweet and sensitive girl, but she has Cerebral Palsy, which I’m sure is only what guys see when they look at her.

    Most guys her age are only looking for one thing and it most certainly isn’t anything like marriage or even a long-term relationship. I do have to say that in some ways it’s a good thing that she isn’t promiscuous and/or dating a lot, but I do feel bad for her since I know that she is missing out on so much in her life.

    She should be able to get out with friends her own age but she doesn’t really have any, since she’s also very shy and afraid of getting hurt, emotionally. What it comes down to, is that people with disabilities should have the same chances to find love and happiness like the rest of us.

    My fears would be that shows like this only exist to provide a platform for being a freak show, which is the last thing that any of these people need. It seems like my daughter has a lot of questions that her mother hasn’t answered, which means I will have to be the one to guide her into the outside world, which her mother has tried to keep her safe from.

    Obviously, I understand that mindset but it also isn’t fair to prevent her from having her own life, which she deserves. We were pretty much thrown to the wolves as kids and expected to learn how to fend for ourselves which my daughter definitely wouldn’t have survived through.

    I just want her to be happy and have a chance to enjoy what life has to offer like everyone else.

    1. Thanks Randy. I understand your concerns, but this show is sensitively managed. The programme genuinely tries to bring people with disabilities together.

      The nice thing about people with disabilities is that when they come together, they only see each other and not their disabilities.

      And as you say Randy, given your daughter’s disability with Cerebral Palsy; it’s easy for others just to see what she deals with. It’s so unfair.

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