By the time we’re 7 years old our characters are fully formed. If we’re lucky enough to have had love and support up to that point, we should continue to thrive emotionally.
But what happens when we’ve had no support, when that voice in our head belittles our very existence, comparisons are drawn with other people and we become convinced by the things we tell ourselves.
As my story shows, we don’t have to buy into it, we can change and go on to live fulfilling lives, even without the support. We can look at situations, find new understandings and look for new emotional endings. Of course, what plays out doesn’t get better, but emotionally we can bring different endings into the scenario and that helps change how we see and deal with things.
While we’re still subjected to abuse, it would be difficult to change those circumstances, but it is possible to change the story in our mind, so that we’re not continually taking in other people’s negativity, or abuse.
So how do we change?
We change by challenging our thoughts so that we’re working through each experience as it happens, using our conscious thoughts to change our understanding on our circumstances, so that we’re looking at the bigger picture and that changes how we deal with things and how we are.
We can’t change other people’s behaviour, but we can change the way we think and perceive their behaviour and make the issue about them. That means seeing others as being responsible, so that we can let go. The sad reality is that we don’t, instead we carry other people’s guilt, when they choose not to accept responsibility.
Sadly, the unconscious thinking told in story form, is why we continue to behave badly. Bringing our thoughts back into the present moment and challenging ourselves to think differently, will always make us act differently.