We create our stress

If I were to tell you, we are responsible for our own stress, you’d probably laugh, point the finger at me or shrug my comment off altogether. You may even get cross at the sheer thought, after all, who wants to be told they are the reason for their own stress.

I’m not sure how many of us are open to the idea, yet it’s a fact this is what we do. Stress is self-generated. We create and are responsible for our own stress. Although others will contribute to our stress and we don’t have control over their behaviour and the way they behave towards us, we do have control over ourselves.

Although knowing this may be seen as negative, it’s actually quite constructive. Anything that shows us and makes us aware is always a good thing, but we will need to make ourselves aware of how and where our stressors are coming from, for us to acknowledge and accept that we can do something about it.

Addressing stress, inducing thoughts and behaviour will always help reduce stress. Other internal stressors tend to include depression, fear of a particular worry, uncertainties; a lack of control by not being able to control a particular outcome, or not being in control of our reaction to a particular outcome.

Beliefs are also a factor, as are our opinions and expectations, particularly because of the expectations we put on ourselves. All external factors play their part, but it’s up to us to be responsible enough to at least try to understand where they’re coming from and why.

The nature of external factors mean stress will always be a factor in our lives, but with the right attitude, I believe we can get a grip on the amount of stress we let into our lives.


25 Feb, 2015

6 thoughts on “We create our stress

  1. Initially I was going to say that I disagreed with this as stress is sometimes imposed on us by external changes, but having read your blog a few times I agree; as it is how we react to those external influences that matters.

    I knew someone who made everything someone else’s problem and shifted all responsibility and stresses onto that other person. He wasn’t the most popular guy in town but he lived to an old age!

    1. Unfortunately and you’re right, as is often the case; those kind of people make other people the scapegoat and take the burden of responsibility off themselves, which ties in with what you say about this type of person living to a ripe old age.

      That said, it’s what we carry emotionally that makes the difference between us staying well and getting ill. I believe external influences (because there are so many) will always cause us more stress than the stress we cause ourselves.

      Of course and I agree with you that how we react to external influences is an important factor in reducing and limiting our stress.

  2. I agree we are responsible for our own stress, but it’s very difficult not to allow external factors to stress us out, especially if they affect us in a negative way.

    We are always going to feel some level of stress, after all we are built with feelings. We have the choice to just dwell on it, or try to find a way so it won’t affect us as much or not at all.

  3. I totally believe it. I see it in my daughter. She stresses herself out and gets so agitated she is blind. Then she wants to blame others for it.

    1. Thanks Lisa. It’s always much harder when we deal with something that causes us to behave in a way that becomes inappropriate. When we’re constantly stressed, we cope even less.

      It’s easier when we are able to deal with our issues singularly, but unfortunately and from my own experiences problems come in 3’s! That’s a lot of stress we have to deal with.

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