Have you ever noticed that when you’re in someone’s company you can come out feeling tired and drained? Sadly, we never stop to question why or how we can spend three or four hours in a friend’s company and feel so drained.

Perhaps those times weren’t necessarily about us, but about those friends we chose to spend our time with. As our mood spirals, it makes our life so much harder. Moods don’t always start with us, they start with someone else, then they affect us that’s usually how it works, although the other person will think it’s us and not them.

I’ve been in other people’s company so many times when their mood begins to overpower us. It’s fine when they’re happy because their mood will have a positive effect on us, but not when they’re struggling.

Psychologists believe that when we interact with people, we do so by picking up on voice tones, body language and expressions. Our brain then responds to those feelings.

This is exactly why we can empathise, stay impartial and are better equipped to help people. It's also one of the reasons why we must surround ourselves with people we know will elevate us and not bring us down.

Something inspirational:

How many of us when we feel upset, temporarily lose perspective in our life? We see everything that's negative or wrong and lose sight on some of those accomplishments or achievements. Time to take stock.

Imagine you're looking at yourself at the other side of the room. Begin to observe yourself, your thoughts and your body language. What would you tell yourself? Look for calm whilst you talk yourself through the situation that got you to this stage.

A minor blip on life’s rocky road, but all will be well again.

Long overdue, but I wanted to explain a little bit about me and my site. My site reinforces my life and my experiences. It was only at the age of 46 that I consciously made the decision to do something positive as far as my Cerebral Palsy was concerned.

I had no idea at the time what that positive was going to be, but I was writing journals away from the site, so thought a website would be the right way to go. I could continue to write my journals on a blog instead.

Everything I write I have a passion for, what you read is my life, which not only contributes to my physical health as I deal with Cerebral Palsy, but my spiritual health too. If I put strategies in place, I find I cope better. I find ways to make more positive decisions so that I can live my life more positively.

My blogs include lifestyle choice that can be made by anyone, whether we have the knowledge or not. I must admit that as a child growing up I never thought about Diet or Nutrition or health. Instead I relied on my parents’ choices and assumed that if they gave me something, it was because they believed those choices to be right.

Now I can incorporate what I know through my studies and write about them here on the site. The site has surpassed my expectations and with all the help from my friends who respond on the site, hopefully the site will continue to go from strength to strength. For those who also read my blogs, thank you.

It is said by some that religion and spirituality are total opposites. Historically, we were spiritual long before we found religion. Religion is associated with the concerns of a life through faith, culture and society.

Spirituality can also be described as an attachment to one’s inner soul through life and how we choose to live it. It allows us to look at a wealth of opportunities so that we can live life in its simplest form.

When you can accept yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually, you know you’re on the ‘spiritual path’. The spiritual path allows you to accept the things you cannot change, deal with the things you can and give of yourself without needing anything in return.

It’s not something that just happens, it’s a journey of different experiences, culminating in emotional tranquility and peace that comes from within, allowing us to choose how we see the world and other people. It sets us apart from others, through our attitude and how we conduct ourselves.

Spirituality helps us understand our lives and others, whilst we follow its path and that puts us in tune with ourselves and our surroundings.

Cats can teach us so much about life.

When my mum was terminally ill, Pumpkin came into our lives. She had already been named by the rescue centre, although my children called her Homey. For us, owning a cat was a life-changing decision and we’ve never looked back.

She was a rescue cat that picked us out when we went to the cattery. She instantly attached herself to my daughter. She looked neglected, had a skin condition and had been found wandering the streets.

She came into our lives and changed us forever. Just by watching her I have become even more spiritually aware. We have all learned so much from her simple needs of love, warmth, food and shelter.

Cats are known for being spiritual. I love to observe my cat to see how she interacts with her world. They have a uniquely powerful aura which takes away negativity and they carry a big energy field. Cats can help us see our world differently, their needs are simple and uncomplicated. They can teach us the values of living a simple and stress-free life, as long as we’re receptive and open to their aura and energy.

These values lend themselves to a more spiritual, harmonious and peaceful life. Spirituality isn’t a religion. It relates to or affects the human spirit or soul, as opposed to physical or material things.

Spirituality is a path towards self-actualisation, allowing those who practice to continue to focus on their internal values and so that they become better people.

Dedicated to my cat Pumpkin, also known as 'Homey'.

Last night came good when Claudia was awarded a prize at the Town Hall in Leeds for all her hard work in school last year. We are immensely proud of her achievements to date and it’s wonderful to watch her grow into a wonderfully balanced adult.

Prize Giving isn’t something I have been able to attend for many years because I was always struggling with reflux problems or heartburn, but since I have found ways to stay well, I was able to attend last night. I must admit most prize giving ceremonies aren’t particularly interesting. Lots of speeches with staff and governors talking about their own self-importance, but last night somehow seemed different.

The school has a new head teacher and it was breathtaking to hear his thoughts, which were geared on the importance of the school, the students and what he hopes they will go on to achieve with so many wonderful opportunities they have.

One or two dignitaries were also invited to speak. One spoke about his only prize in school, which wasn’t a particularly important prize, but the second prize had he have got one, would have been to his parents' surprise. He wasn’t a particularly high achiever in school, but has achieved greatly since then to become what he is today, a professor.

It clearly goes to show that with sheer determination and hard work we can go on to achieve great heights. We may not go on to be a rocket scientist, but achieving is important to good health, confidence and self-esteem. I struggled with neurological difficulties and with no help and support, failed to achieve with my education.

This blog is dedicated to my education and all that I have gone on to achieve since my school days. Now it isn’t a hardship for me to watch my children excel. I take pleasure from it.

Easy baked fish

Mediterranean fish

Ingredients:

2 x 400g cans cherry tomatoes

1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

3 tbsp basil pesto

2 tbsp breadcrumbs

4 skinless firm white fish fillets

Method:

Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6

Place the tomatoes into a roasting tin

Add the vinegar and 1 tbsp of the pesto

Season, mix, then bake in the oven for 10 minutes

Mix together the remaining pesto and the breadcrumbs then press onto each fish fillet

Add to the roasting tin and return to the oven for 12-15 minutes until the fish flakes easily and the topping is slightly crisp

Serve with steamed vegetables

 

Taking away negativity is an art form, not something we easily achieve, particularly if we’re in company and those people are being negative. In the wrong company, it’s easy to feel drained and tired.

My suggestions below help me:

Know your conversation

Stop discussing anything personal or taking part in any conversation that would seem diverse to someone else. If the person you are talking to tries to engage you in conversation that could turn into a full-blown argument, leave the room, or change the subject if you can’t go elsewhere. If other people are with you, it may be more difficult to leave, but it would also be difficult for others to continue with the conversation.

Communicate assertively

Being able to communicate assertively is the key. We mustn’t accept another person’s abusive behaviour, and like children, adults need boundaries too. Establish your boundaries so that others can’t talk in a way that you feel is inappropriate.

Talk to positive people

If you are speaking to more than one person in a group situation, concentrate your energies on those in the group who you see as positive. That way you won’t come away from the conversation feeling drained. Also, be careful who you take into your confidence. If the person you’re speaking to generally gossips, make sure you keep anything you want to keep private to yourself.

Choose trustworthy and reliable friends

It is important to make sure your friends are good listeners, trustworthy and reliable. Being able to rely on those who have proved themselves is important.

Find acceptance

It’s important we accept the way people are, but they must do the same with us. If friends don’t have compassion or aren’t attentive, there’s no point in wishing they were. We must either accept they’re not or choose to see less of them. We cannot change others, we can only change the way we perceive and interact with them.

But it is possible for us to bring about change through our own personal beliefs. When in other people’s company, we must try to work on the way we handle ourselves. Trying to persuade others to believe what we believe only invites criticism and defensive attitudes.

Finally, when you’re out of their company and if you’re still dealing with negative thoughts and feelings, write your feelings down.

I have always equated the problems with my handwriting to my father walking behind me as a child. Now my neurologist has confirmed scar tissue is the reason I have problems with my handwriting, rather than the emotional scarring of being watched, as a child.

Although others have no idea of my daily struggles, just filling in a form is difficult. Because handwriting is something we learn as a child, I feel embarrassed that I continue to struggle with it. Perhaps my blog shows others that we all have struggles that we face and that it’s okay.

The problem is, I don’t know how much of my handwriting issue is down to scarring, or how much is down to my father watching me walk. That is something I’ll never know. All I know is that I have difficulty with my handwriting.

I never really understood what I was dealing with as a child around my physical problems, what my symptoms meant or what they were. Now 47 years on and I still don’t know everything I need to know.

I was researching cerebral palsy and came across a Wikipedia note outlining the part of my brain that is damaged as a result of my stroke, called the Cerebrum (although the disorder is likely to involve connections between the cortex and other parts of the brain) such as the Cerebellum.

Symptoms are linked to the way the brain is affected even though the same part of the brain is generally involved in those who suffer with cerebral palsy. The Cerebellum plays an important role in motor control. It is also responsible for cognitive function such as language and attention.

When it comes to paying attention, a switch turns off in my brain. If I’m interested in something I manage slightly better, but I still fail to concentrate. I have brain fatigue, which adds to the problems with my concentration.

The connections between my brain and body are not wired in the same way an undamaged brain is. I would like to be more accepting of my condition, but in order to do that, I need to understand more.

I want to live alongside cerebral palsy comfortably without being judged for my shortcomings. At the moment that’s not the case. I spend my life being judged.

I need to know more about what having cerebral palsy means to me.

Something inspirational:

Having troubling sleeping? Herb sachets are known to be calming and effective which can be tucked into your pillowcase. Or make your own with a cotton hankerchief. The best herbs to use are lavender flower, hops and rose petals, then add calming oils such as chamomile and lavender.

Alternatively, there is an aromatherapy body patch containing Lavender, Chamomile and Jasmine oils. As an alternative add Lavender oil added to the pillow for a calm and peaceful sleep.

The last two days my thoughts have been on the problems with my hair salon. Often life goes like that.

Today I resolved the problem I had and made the decision that it was time to move on and I’m okay with my decision. Although I normally pride myself on working through problems and nine times out of ten I work through them successfully, this outcome I could never change.

The problems weren’t about me, but they often aren't. When others instigate as an issue is usually a reflection of how they're feeling about themselves and that's reflected in their behaviour towards me. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It isn't right when others are not happy and they bring others down.

When someone initiates a negative message, they are implying we should respond. That just because we respond, doesn’t mean the conversation has to spiral out of hand. I didn’t come out thinking I was in a bad place, I felt as though they had understood and that we had reached an understanding.

I had problems with my hair and I wanted them to know what those problems were. It's easy to look back and live with the 'what if's.' I didn't want to do that. I left the salon knowing I'd done the right thing. Hopefully they will have understood.

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