Supporting families

From my own experiences, relationships seem even more difficult when families pull in different directions. We pull in different directions when we work independently of each other, when we’re non-committed and non-supportive.

The following suggestions may be useful:

  • Try to create balance and harmony;
  • Allow family members to make their own decisions;
  • Be happy with their decisions even if you don’t agree;
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11 Mar, 2012

Rational & irrational fear

I had trauma around me from a very early age and even though I was physically well, emotionally I began to live with irrational fears around illness.

When I found out that a little girl in my school had cancer, I could get it out of my head that I would get cancer too.  Because of neurological impairments, my fears were irrational, because someone else …

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9 Mar, 2012

Working at illness

Growing up, I was always removed from being around anyone who was terminally ill, but even the mere thought of hearing about someone’s  terminal illness would make me struggle emotionally.

I’m coping to act as a support to my father, but it is slowly becoming clear that because I deal with other things too, it’s beginning to take its toll on my digestive health. Unfortunately, when I’m dealing …

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8 Mar, 2012

Today’s new thoughts

It would be very easy for me to hibernate with everything I deal with. Dealing with a family member having cancer is the most difficult time. As I watch my father clutch and struggle to hold on to life, I want what is really best for him. I am not convinced having treatment is right for him and even less convinced that his treatment will work. It’s keeping him breathing, that’s all it’s doing.

I remember meeting up with someone who had cancer and was actively having treatment, probably long before my father became ill and this woman was fairly upbeat about her chances of beating …

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6 Mar, 2012

Being responsible

Something inspirational:

“If you find you’re here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of these three options, and you must choose …

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5 Mar, 2012

Unexpected visitors

It fascinates me how when someone is terminally ill, people crawl out of the woodwork unexpectedly, to pay their respects to that person even though they’ve had nothing to do with them for years.

Perhaps some of us do it because we want that person to remember us, or perhaps we feel guilty for not having been in that person’s life. Whatever the reason, it’s obvious they’re there to make …

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4 Mar, 2012

Illness & anger

It’s easy to become angry around negative experiences, but it’s also important we deal with those experiences so that anger isn’t able to control or consume us. Talking about how we feel can make a difference between acceptance and non-acceptance of our issues and illness.

When it comes to people with a terminal illness, it’s easy to see why those people might feel angry, but perhaps their anger isn’t just about their terminal illness? Anger can be an underlying trait that …

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3 Mar, 2012