Something inspirational:

"For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice and to make an end is to make a beginning."

T.S. ELIOT, "Little Gidding"

Have you noticed that when someone loses patience with you, it’s often not because of something you said, but something they’re struggling with?

You know they’re losing their patience with you, because they’re being unreasonable on something you said that was totally reasonable. Stressful situations will always culminate in us being less patient, when the other person is being reasonable.

Even the most impatient person can learn to be patient. If we’re aware that we're not being patient, just by pressing the rewind button we can change. It’s important to stand back and assess where we can do things differently and then go back in. We have to take responsibility for ourselves so that we don't blame someone else for how we really feel.

Why do we lose patience?

It’s usually a trigger, an issue that we’re dealing with. But by putting our triggers into perspective, we’re more likely to be in control of how we react. Being frustrated is another trigger factor. We need to find ways of relieving our frustrations, without taking our frustrations out on others. Our frustrations aren’t someone else’s frustrations.

Communication helps with patience. Always say what you feel, before it gets to the point where you begin to lose patience. It’s wrong to assume others understand telepathically how we feel. We need to learn to respond without kicking off.

I believe that when we’re in a less stressful place, we are more patient. Unfortunately, patience isn’t an overnight fix, it can take years of practice to master.

It's not been an easy decision, but after weeks of deliberation having booked a short break in October for this coming week, our holiday is being cancelled, postponed for another time.

We’ll book another short break when my health is more reliable and we can all make it. In the meantime, I have decided to take a comprehensive food intolerance test, which will be carried out in the next few days to find out which foods are making my reflux worse.

I am feeling confident the test will go someway towards allowing me to lead a more normal life, so I can do things like go on holiday.

Something inspirational:

"Even if the older mind lives by remembering, the young mind lives by forgetting.”

LINDA HOGAN

It doesn’t matter how many brothers or sisters we have, there will always be an element of rivalry, which unfortunately for most, lasts long after childhood.

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry happens where children feel they have to compete for the attention of their parents, particularly if they’re getting very little attention, or none at all. It also starts when additional siblings are introduced into the family and the family dynamics are changed for the first time.

Family pecking order

An only child who likes having their parents’ attention may often feel threatened by the introduction of a new sibling. As the family grows, there is often a pecking order between the siblings, because attention is paid to the children that conform, which leaves the other siblings fighting for attention.

Remaining stuck

Children whose parents don’t recognise their abilities, who don’t encourage, support or give them the attention they need to thrive, will remain stuck in the same kind of relationships, as an adult. Unfortunately, we don’t always understand how family work and how we get to change those dynamics. We must perceive family differently and work together.

Sibling rivalry isn’t always down to the parents though. The nature of where we are in our lives, has its own impact. Siblings will look at their sisters or brothers’ success and draw comparisons with their own achievements, rather than drawing comparisons with themselves.

A human failing

It’s a human failing, but drawing comparisons is something that society teaches and encourages and continues to encourage through competition.

Recently my blogs seem to be about me, perhaps it’s because I’m still not settled. The last time my family had a holiday was before my mother passed nearly 6 years ago.

Now that we have decided to take a short break in January, I’m worried I won’t be able to make the holiday because of my health and it's making me stressed.

I have always needed to be in a routine, so I will need to be in a similar routine on holiday. I will also have to make sure I’m eating right and will have to time everything to perfection, so that I don’t leave it too long between meals.

Holidays are wonderful, but they also bring stress and having to keep myself well adds to that. I also don’t want to give in so I don’t go, but the problems of illness weigh heavily. The stress of the journey can set my illness off. I hate that my life revolves around my health.

I want to live a normal life, one that doesn’t involve dealing with my health all the time, but wanting sometimes doesn't get us these things.

Something inspirational:

"Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."

OREN ARNOLD

Wishing everyone, their family and friends a peaceful holiday and very best wishes for the Festive Season.

I hope you all have a lovely Christmas.

Something inspirational:

“Where'd the days go, when all we did was play? And the stress that we were under wasn't stress at all just a run and a jump into a harmless fall.”

PAOLO NUTINI

Things seem a little easier this morning. I’ve decided to try to be more relaxed about my health issues. I've read somewhere that learning how to breath properly helps with digestion and reflux problems so I’ve introduced breathing exercises into my routine and it seems to be working. Have a lovely weekend everyone.

I'm here again, but I still need to change certain aspects of my lifestyle, if I am to avoid any long-term complications with my health.

A life far from normal

Every time I think I'm on top of my problems with reflux, I find I’m clearly not. With poor muscle tone, being premature and having cerebral palsy, it’s not surprising. I want to be able to live a normal life, but my life is far from normal. I will have adjusted better with support growing up.

Now it means that my family have to fit into my lifestyle so that I get to stay well for longer. Holidays are also a problem, but I’ll try to work round those as best I can. I hate the fact that I’m tied to this horrible disease, but I also know that if I don’t manage to sort it out in the longer term, I may not have any choices about my health.

Understanding my chronic illness

Twenty-one years on, I finally understand what I’ve been dealing with for all of these years. My Doctor didn’t even know what my presenting symptoms were. If changing my lifestyle again means a healthier future, then that’s what I need to do. Last night I felt better and for the first time, I went to sleep with no reflux, no indigestion and no raised pillows.

I cannot remember the last time that happened. The sad reality for me is that I need to make these changes, before these changes are made for me. I have no choice on this one.

Something inspirational:

“Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it...Don't allow his anger to become your anger.”

BOHDI SANDERS

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