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Month: October 2014

Dealing with hopelessness

I understand too well, can resonate and find it sad when a parent lives with guilt when something happens to their child. With the passing yesterday of Michael Payne, father of Sarah Payne who was killed some years ago, how within seconds not only does a life change, but a family’s life changes too.

With any trauma, when we close the door, the world carries on as if nothing has happened and as we carry guilt, we begin to cope less and less. When we turn our attentions to things that help us cope …

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31 Oct, 2014

Anticipate

I anticipate my next move, not because I’m ready, on the contrary I’m not always even aware at that time what my next move should be, but I know that if I don’t, what I fail to anticipate may blow up in my face and come back to haunt me.

My mum used to say: ‘time and tide wait for no man’ and she was right. Time or issues don’t wait for us. Unfortunately, when we don’t anticipate issues, or look at trying to find a resolve on our …

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29 Oct, 2014

Ours not to take

My life woke me up last night. Well certain aspects did anyway, but luckily it wasn’t too early. As I continue to work on my health, I continue to work on the other things that have the potential to affect my health.

Although we often live with the consequences of other people’s behaviour, I now begin to wonder and continue to ask myself, whether it’s more important for us to sew a seed, or find a place on the …

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28 Oct, 2014

Challenging our thoughts

I believe we must challenge and continue to challenge our thoughts, because that’s the only way we’ll begin to understand our life and the way we do things.

It’s not always enough to just run with things without bringing new understanding on those things. It is only through our understanding that we will learn to see and live our lives in the …

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26 Oct, 2014

Unconscious reckoning

Our unconscious thoughts play their part in our conscious every day conversations. For example, resentment provoked by angry conflicts between two people, will automatically encapsulate into feelings of enmity that go back further than the presenting disagreement.

The strong reaction of resentment almost always never appears to be warranted by what starts it off. Sadly, it’s usually the product of something outstanding in our unconscious thoughts that presents …

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25 Oct, 2014

Caring less

It mattered to me what other people thought. I was a pleasing child and cared too much. Then I learned it was more important to please myself that in fact I needed to care less.

When we care less that doesn’t mean we care less about the people who are important in our lives, but caring less means letting go of concerns about caring what other people think, about the people …

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23 Oct, 2014

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  • Avatar for Ilana on Ignorance isn’t bliss: “Yes, I would have to ask if those people actually care? If people cared enough they would change and do…”
  • Avatar for Ilana on Inherited family trauma: “Thanks. Yes, and as you say it is completely unnecessary. 'We're a long time dead' as they say. What's the…”
  • Avatar for Ilana on Ignorance isn’t bliss: “I really don't know why people would think so, as ignorance isn't bliss at all. Pretending an issue isn't there…”
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