We need to change

If others don’t see an issue in their actions, they will never change. All we can do is change the way we see their actions. The deed doesn’t change, but our actions to the deed will need to change, if they’re not changing.

For as many years as I spent in counselling trying to sort out my childhood issues, I spent as many years again waiting for those close to me to understand how their actions had affected me, but it was me …

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31 Mar, 2015

Changing attitudes

Something inspirational:

Although we cannot personally change things that happen in our past because those things are firmly part of our past, we have the potential to change aspects of our past through new understandings, attitudes and perceptions.

Unfortunately, without letting go of the past first, our attitudes and perceptions will never change, nor will our understanding of how we can change certain aspects of our past.

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29 Mar, 2015

Baggage and relationships

The emotional baggage we carry from our childhood into our relationships is the main reason why relationships often fail.

Emotional baggage are two words that have masses of implications and is the main reason why relationships fail, particularly when we ignore the fact that we’re carrying baggage and as we fail to acknowledge …

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28 Mar, 2015

Rewriting history

As some of us re-write history with one conversation, others will continually re-write history as a way of life.

If you were to ask me what I did yesterday, I’d struggle to remember. My short-term memory is poor, but my long-term memory is excellent. I always remember conversations as if they took place …

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27 Mar, 2015

It matters

It used to bother me that when I looked in the mirror and I was standing straight, I was lopsided. I couldn’t quite get over that.

Now it bothers me that I live with scoliosis and that I’ve been living with it since the age of 25, but I only found out less than a year ago. I remember going to the consultation with my father, but because …

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25 Mar, 2015

Does disability define us?

Does disability define us? Unconsciously, disability does, unless we choose to opt out. I have cut out a niche that doesn’t define my disability.

I’m not embarrassed by it, I don’t allow myself to hide behind it and I don’t use my disability as a tool for my writing, because I choose to write from the soul instead. It would make it difficult for others if I were …

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24 Mar, 2015

Owning change

We want change, but we don’t want to change the process, make the time or the effort. We want change but aren’t willing to put in the hard work. Change feels daunting, we know we’ve got too much to work through, therefore we become less interested in change.

Others may be interested in change, but when it becomes too difficult, they let go of their need to change. They may not always recognise they need to change, or they may not think about change, but we …

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22 Mar, 2015

Order my new book

Ilana x