Facets of my disability

The truth is I have never been properly assessed, but if I were to have been properly assessed and a percentage added as part of that assessment, I would estimate that I am 70% mentally and 30% physically disabled.

Although I have never highlighted or thought about autism and Asperger’s as part of my disability I deal with both. I make what I deal with look easy, the key difference being I have learned to adapt and conceal some of my symptoms, including my inability to feel, which comes from my brain …

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22 Oct, 2018

Overcoming barriers

Initially we create and put up barriers to protect ourselves, but that can only work for a finite time, sooner or later we have to take control.

I’ve had to overcome barriers in my own life on my disability, barriers over judgments on my disability and how I present. I’ve had to overcome barriers on failing in school. The more I failed the more …

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19 Oct, 2018

How the body works

My experiences always bring about a new thought process as part of the original experience. If I think it’s helpful because it brings about a new understanding or a new way of looking at a situation, I write about it.

Being continually measured as a child, I was always being told that my hips were straight and that my leg length issue was coming from a shortening from the knee to the ligament on my left side, that my leg …

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14 Oct, 2018

Why I am uniquely different

Knowing what makes me, me is cathartic and it vindicates me. I’m okay that I know everything about cerebral palsy and my neurological symptoms that needed to happen, but I’m not okay with how long it’s taken me to get to this stage.

Whilst we all have multiple intelligence, strengths and weakness in different areas, people on the autism spectrum will have extremes. They will be particularly skilled in one way of seeing the world and will be …

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10 Oct, 2018

A little more about karma

Karma is something that comes back to us, it’s timing is immaterial. It’s not something we can stop. On our part we must wait for it, it’s not for us to initiate.

The positive side to karma is that it does present itself, usually in the shape of something that’s said, that we hear but don’t consciously acknowledge at the time. Karma can help us anticipate an outcome on a problem …

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6 Oct, 2018

My experiences, my thoughts

My thoughts on my experiences, cerebral palsy, autism symptoms, the neglect and how I got to this place will never leave me.

But I am determined to see all of my experiences as positive. They can never right a wrong because there’s simply too many, but it’s important I place each conversation, circumstance, judgment and experience so …

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3 Oct, 2018

A lack of trust & honesty

In 15 years of hospital visits, having my legs measured was the consultation. After a few years you begin to think there’s nothing else wrong.

Throughout that time I also didn’t think I needed to look outside the box because there seemed to be no cause for concern from my doctors or family. When I look back of course, I can’t believe that I was …

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30 Sep, 2018

My podiatry consultation

A recent trip to the podiatrist has brought back some early memories I had disbanded with. I was hoping being asked to walk up and down the room without my shoes and socks on would have been easier this time around.

Although I managed not to show off this time, I found it difficult to walk up and down the room without thinking about whether the podiatrist was watching me. It has made me more conscious because …

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28 Sep, 2018

Being misunderstood

I have always been misunderstood and misjudged. Throughout my life I’ve had others colour their assumptions of me because of a disability I didn’t know I had, through neurological difficulties and without any emotional support.

But from my own experience, being misunderstood isn’t just emotionally draining, it can be like living with total strangers, uncomfortable, awkward in parts and totally frustrating when you know it’s not …

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25 Sep, 2018