Feeling good about writing

Writing for 9 years, never having missed a blog is a big achievement for me. I have never associated my writing with autism, or saw it as an autism trait.

Whilst it’s true anyone with autism is single minded, up until I started my diary, I never had any interests and never finished anything. I would start things and not finish them. I didn’t know I could put …

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19 Jul, 2019

Understanding is important

I knew I had a bad leg and foot that was obvious because you could see a problem, but I didn’t know about my disability, I didn’t know about my learning difficulties. I also didn’t know about scoliosis, or autism.

And whilst some of us may feel as though life has let us down, it’s not good enough for us to ignore what others deal with. Trying to get into the mind of others is difficult, even more so when you deal …

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16 Jul, 2019

Curiosity

It’s very rare I do a back to back blog but when I do, it’s usually around a personal blog. I was curious. Eager to learn about my disability.

Being curious kept me interested. I was inquisitive about my disability. I had a strong desire to learn about myself. I wanted to know about myself, know about my disability, I wanted to be able to function …

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13 Jul, 2019

Self-sufficiency

As a child growing up with a disability I didn’t know I had, I wasn’t self-sufficient. Self-sufficiency wasn’t on my radar, let alone part of me, or my life.

Fast-forward to today and being self-sufficient is what I am. As a child, with no mental or emotional support, I taught myself how to be mentally self-sufficient. In my mind I was independent, an …

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12 Jul, 2019

The whole picture

Since I started my blog 9 years ago, it has been my mission to become acquainted with my symptoms, to fully understand what I deal with, and to be able to place each symptom accurately.

I know I have cerebral palsy and autism. I need to put together the symptoms together that relate to cerebral palsy and the symptoms that relate to autism, so I have the whole picture. I feel I am …

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9 Jul, 2019

Autism & Vulnerability

Other people’s attitudes to how I present, continues to highlight my vulnerability through my neurological difficulties, resulting in me being exposed to the elements of my symptoms relating to what I know to be Autism.

Growing up I never understood I was vulnerable. The nature of what autism is makes us vulnerable, but there is no way for us to measure how vulnerable we are. Where others lack awareness and understanding …

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7 Jul, 2019

Never coming to terms

Growing up, and only finding out at the age of 46 that I had cerebral palsy meant I was left in the dark for all those years.

When I think about my struggles and how long I had to go through those struggles, I know it’s not something I will ever come to terms with. I am comfortable with the idea because I didn’t inflict it on myself …

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4 Jul, 2019

My bitter sweet life

Life for me has been bitter sweet, bitter because I’ve had to  fumble my way through the dark and those times were difficult and sweet because my mum telling me my birth was difficult, catapulted me into a new life and I haven’t looked back.

I understand why she had to keep my disability a secret. Selfless to the end, because even through a terminal illness, she still wanted me to know, when she could have easily passed without telling me …

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1 Jul, 2019

My book

After 3 years of completing a manuscript, it has become somewhat of an anti-climax and as a result I have become more reflective.

At the start of the process, I was determined to get it done. It was something that would bring more clarity into my somewhat chaotic mind, living with a disability I didn’t know I had and I couldn’t be …

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27 Jun, 2019
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