About SPD

Sadly for those of us dealing with Sensory Processing Disorder, even if someone tells us something is going to be alright, we don’t always know it’s going to be alright, until we see it’s alright. I am intending to write a little more about SPD, explaining how the condition can be best managed. It’s still something I have to work through, made all the harder through other people’s attitude of what they think I deal with and how intense they think I am. My issues are sometimes made worse because I deal with SPD and that sadly changes the way I manage …

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16 Aug, 2017

A different understanding

I was always going to have a platform to write about my symptoms and experiences, because I never knew about my diagnosis or understood my symptoms and because karma would eventually correct that wrong.

Now 8 years into a diagnosis and I am still learning about how my symptoms present neurologically, I’m not done with it, why I present a certain way and why I will always be tied to my neurological …

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13 Aug, 2017

Not mine to own

This is the hardest blog I’ve had to write, because it brings understanding and finality on something I’ve had to work on and find out for myself for as long as I have been and that’s never easy.

And where our memories act as a reminder, sometimes those memories aren’t ours to own; like when I found out I had Cerebral Palsy and having to ask my father why he didn’t tell me and him coming …

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11 Aug, 2017

Bringing clarity

My site continues to bring clarity and understanding of a lifetime lived with traumatic experiences. My blog continues to incorporate my thoughts and feelings on what I’ve had to deal with over the years; how I get to live my life now, how I see situations and circumstances.

My blog also releases me from the guilt I carried, which was never mine to carry. It doesn’t make me having to endure those experiences right, or take away others’ responsibility, but it does allow …

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7 Aug, 2017

Issues & SPD

My disability isn’t so straightforward. Emotionally, any issue I don’t have a resolve on turns into an SPD scenario.

Sadly, I can’t switch issues off if they’re troubling me, or think about anything else, whilst the issue is on my mind. My mind usually goes straight to the issue, until something happens or something …

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5 Aug, 2017

A measure of trust

I go back to ‘trust’ because as children we put our trust in the people we share our lives with, particularly our parents. We trust others will do right by us, that they will care for us, that the decisions they make for us are the decisions they make because they’re selfless and not because those decisions are convenient for them.

We also put our trust in their ability to make us feel comfortable and secure in our own skin. For us to grow with confidence and self-esteem. The measure of trust should be the guarantee of any …

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3 Aug, 2017

My unspoken disability

Growing up, sadly my physical issues and emotional issues were never recognised or discussed. It wasn’t so much that I was silenced, I just knew not to talk about anything.

After my hospital and physiotherapy appointments nothing was ever discussed either. It was assumed I would go and that was it. It would be like losing a loved one that loved one never …

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30 Jul, 2017

Drowning under my senses

Having heard about Paddy McGuiness and his wife Christine’s heartbreak, over their four-year-old twins’ Autism diagnosis recently, I wanted to write about it because I not only feel sad, but I can also resonate.

I can draw parallels with them through my Sensory Processing Disorder (“SPD”). I understand why each day is a battle because it’s the same struggles brought forward into a new day, that never leaves you, that can flare up at any moment. It’s often difficult to escape the feeling …

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27 Jul, 2017

Coming through abuse

There are still times when I can’t quite believe that neglect and abuse has been my life and then I pinch myself and that’s my reality. But then I tell myself that without this life, my experiences I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing and I reconcile until the next time.

No one just gets over neglect or abuse, but it is up to us to change how we let those others treat us. Where experiences become lessons, this is one lesson learned that we will never want to repeat, or be …

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24 Jul, 2017

A measure of success

When we can’t see, or equate how we feel with how others have made us feel, then we know we’re emotionally damaged. It would go on to take me many years to see or understand that I was.

It took countless guilt trips, until one day the penny dropped that the guilt I’d been carrying for all those years, wasn’t mine to carry. That our environment and the people in it, affect the way we feel about …

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21 Jul, 2017