Wilful neglect

When a parent does something that is wilful, they consciously make a decision. That isn’t the same thing as unconsciously struggling to parent your child.

Because I have Autism, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (‘CBT’) helps me see and understand more of my experiences so that I’m looking at the bigger picture, a different angle on the angle I have …

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19 Mar, 2019

When children are ignored

I grew up in an era where children were ‘seen and not heard.’ Whatever squabbles or aggrievances I had, I was told ‘we were as bad as each other.’ There was no mediation, so my protests went unheard.

It was at a time when parents didn’t seem to care whether their issues became their children’s. But whatever stress our parents are under, their stress shouldn’t be ours. It is important children have their emotional …

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15 Mar, 2019

A disability buried

Living with a disability isn’t easy. But living with symptoms you know you have, but know nothing about is even harder. Knowing you have symptoms and not understanding your symptoms or struggles are even harder still.

A disability being brushed under the carpet, buried… never spoken about, meant I would never get to talk about my physical or neurological difficulties growing up. It’s not what any child should have to go through …

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11 Mar, 2019

Finding a little comfort

No matter how many years it’s taken for me to get to this point, it still feels raw. In nearly 9 years of blogging, the hardest part has been for me to come to terms with the reasoning behind not knowing about my disability, my diagnoses and being forced to accept this was my life.

Even with the bigger picture in the frame, it has brought little comfort, knowing those responsible cared more about themselves than they cared about me. But I also know that without the life I’ve had I wouldn’t …

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9 Mar, 2019

Thoughts on my counselling

I’ve been in counselling for many years, more years than I care to remember. It was a big decision for me to make, but felt it was necessary.

I remember telling my father and he didn’t flinch or comment, other than offering to say he would pay for the first few sessions. I was more upset that I was having to go into counselling as I saw it and that he …

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6 Mar, 2019

My Autism is a gift

Just under 9 years ago, when I found out about cerebral palsy I wanted to do something that was positive for the first time, so that I could understand what cerebral palsy was all about, so I started writing about my disability. Now with my recently diagnosed Autism, I am having to do the same, so I can understand and come to terms with my neurological symptoms.

Finding out about cerebral palsy in my forties and Autism in my 50’s isn’t how I wanted my life to play out, that side has been enormously difficult; but I now know why my life had to happen like that …

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3 Mar, 2019

Autism & being assertive

The recent news about the Michael Jackson victims’ abuse story, has reaffirmed the need for me to confront the truth and why it is important for me to talk about my own story. Although it has taken me many years to get my diagnoses, understand and come to terms with my own journey, this is exactly why I do what I do and why I talk about things.

Since my official Autism diagnosis on the 11th January last month, I’ve gone through a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m getting there. When I was younger and my children were little, their problems were small …

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1 Mar, 2019

Anxiety & Autism

Throughout my life, as a child and through my school years, I lived with anxiety. Now I know my anxiety relates to Autism Spectrum Disorder (“ASD”) that I have just recently been diagnosed with that I didn’t know I had as a child. It is a co-occurring condition of cerebral palsy.

There are many common behaviours seen in those with ASD that overlap with symptoms in other anxiety disorders, therefore familiarity and understanding for someone with Autism is very …

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22 Feb, 2019

An overview of my Autism

Up until my autism diagnosis was confirmed I was aware of all my symptoms and how I presented, but I had no diagnosis on my neurological symptoms.

Through researching the Autism arising from my cerebral palsy brain damage and my Consultant’s findings, I finally understand my Autism and its characteristics. Like difficulties with abstract, imaginative or …

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21 Feb, 2019

Sensory issues as a child

It is important that I know I have Autism, not so that I can define myself by it; but knowing I have it now, means I can look back on my experiences as a child and rightly place them with Autism.

It’s fair to say that I was never encouraged to think independently as a child. That helped with my neurological difficulties, because I coped better not having to make decisions. Sensory issues flag up so …

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18 Feb, 2019