Dealing with my realities

My personal thoughts on my disability are never far away and is the reason I’m putting out another personal blog today.

The anxiety I deal with is centred around autism and is another issue I didn’t know I had. It’s something I’m going to have to deal with and manage for the rest of my natural life. It was also something I was …

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12 Sep, 2018

Autism Spectrum Disorder

The answers I have on my diagnoses explain who I am, how I am and how I’ve been. They also explain my experiences to date. Those all fall into place now.

Every question, every uncertainty, every struggle has now been boxed and ticked through Autism Spectrum Disorder. I knew I was dealing with the disorder, when I came into contact with someone who …

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10 Sep, 2018

Piecing it all together

In one of my blogs I talk about comorbidity and how comorbidity works around cerebral palsy and why because I have cerebral palsy I have co-occurring conditions as part of the initial diagnosis. I am proud because in spite of my circumstances, I believe I have finally been able to piece my disability together.

Since my initial diagnosis at the age of 46, I’ve had to continue to work through my symptoms to piece my disability together. Before that I had nothing. It feels good to be able to finally place my difficulties …

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8 Sep, 2018

Using my blogs to reflect

I believe that although my more personal blogs outline issues that I’ve had to deal with over the years, or issues that I still have to deal with today, they serve a purpose for us all.

All my blogs carry an underlying message for us to think about so that we can look at our own issues and deal with those. My blogs are there for us to reflect on what we deal with, even though what I’ve written is …

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5 Sep, 2018

More pieces to the jigsaw

When it comes to us having and dealing with a disability, it’s important we understand our symptoms and how we present.

I am reading a book written by a parent and physician of a child with autism and it’s clear that some of my symptoms fit ASD (“Autism Spectrum Disorder.”) Some of my other symptoms also fit Asperger’s and since …

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4 Sep, 2018

Anxiety bothers me the most

The hardest part of my life looking back, is not the cerebral palsy, it’s not getting the help I needed when I spent my life living with anxiety, panic and overwhelming fear. The fact that I didn’t keep quiet about it should have raised alarm bells, but that was completely ignored.

The cerebral palsy element doesn’t bother me because I have understanding and am comfortable around those issues. There is no excuse for what went on around my disability, but it was my struggling with …

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1 Sep, 2018

New understandings

Nine years after my initial diagnosis of cerebral palsy at the age of 46, I am still putting pieces of the jigsaw together, but I now have a better understanding of my diagnosis. I have mild cerebral palsy hemiparesis (left side) caused by a bleed on the brain before I was born. That ties in with my mum’s understanding of her getting into difficulty.

Mild cerebral palsy hemiparesis is a weakness to one entire side of the body. It inhibits growth and development, impairment of the muscle and nerves controlling movement that presents as mechanical …



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29 Aug, 2018

No standard to work from

Growing up not knowing I had cerebral palsy meant I had no standards or base line from which I could judge by experiences, or which I could work from.

Not knowing anything about my disability, meant that it was also difficult to explain how my symptoms or disability presented in everyday life, just what people saw and then how they chose to deal with me …

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27 Aug, 2018

Wilful acts & forgiveness

It’s taken me 8+ years and counting to work through my experiences and my life. But the one thing I’m sure of is that I wasn’t in the same emotional space before I started writing. I’ve come a long way.

It’s only when we work through our experiences and we’re looking at the bigger picture that we come to understand our experiences and other people and how those people came to make their decisions …

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23 Aug, 2018

Complicit in deceit

There is no getting away from the fact that a diagnosis around the age of 2 of cerebral palsy, over the years there are those players who were by the very definition of knowing my diagnosis before me were complicit in deceit.

I’m not sure what’s worse, someone or others being complicit in deceit on something we’re not made aware of and should have been, or us having to live with the connotations of not knowing that …

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20 Aug, 2018