My symptoms made simple

This particular blog is the closest I’ve got to explaining how my particular brain damage works. It’s not been an easy journey, but with the relevant help from Neurologists and new understanding over the 8 years I have been writing, I am getting there.

The frontal lobe section, known as the ‘emotional centre’ is the part of my brain that is extensively damaged. Generally, it is the place where our emotions are controlled and where …

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24 May, 2018

My ‘secret’ disability

There is no doubt in my mind that I would still be struggling to understand or talk about my experiences if I hadn’t started The CP Diary. The CP Diary is a place I come to, so I can talk about my experiences.

I liken my experiences to someone who is finally able to walk free for the first time, having been kept in the dark for 46 years. I think it remarkable that I’m choosing to see my life as positive …

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20 May, 2018

The CP Diary is 8 today

The 17th May 2010 is when it all began. What started as an inspirational tool for me to vent, has turned into so much more. It continues to be a source of daily strength for me. My website is a way for me to put my experiences into order, ticking a box for each experience, because that allows for clarity where I had none.

It is also a place where I can understand my experiences in their entirety, allowing myself to move into a more positive head space after years of negativity around a disability I didn’t know …

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17 May, 2018

Working on myself

There is no getting away from the fact that I have to continually work back to try to understand how I present through the neurological impairments I was born with. I lived in a world of my own for so many years, so that I could work on myself to try to make sense of my symptoms and so I could understand how I presented.

When it comes to disability, it is not only important for us to understand ourselves, but for others to understand us, so that they will come in with a more empathetic stance on what we deal …

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16 May, 2018

My school exams

Certain experiences trigger certain issues for me. My writing, together with my memories have shaped who I have become, so it’s not all bad.

There is no doubt in my mind that my father was a perfectionist. He had high expectations, his demeanour was testament to that. As children we learn and come to know many things about …

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13 May, 2018

Keeping thoughts in check

I was once told by a family member that I was lucky because my Cerebral Palsy saved me, but it wasn’t Cerebral Palsy that saved me. It was my ability to rationale in every little detail my experiences growing up, everything I needed to understand not to take my life and my experiences personally.

My experiences were never about me. But we must learn to understand other people’s behaviour if we are to stay and keep our thoughts around our experiences in check. I know that even …

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9 May, 2018

My Kenophobia symptoms

Looking back on my symptoms over the years, it’s obvious I have been dealing with stress and anxiety since I was a small child and they’re something I continue to deal with.

I have also been dealing with symptoms very similar to Kenophobia and have been since my mid-thirties. Kenophobia is an irrational and persistent fear of buildings that have a big sense …

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8 May, 2018

My over-compensating senses

If I woke up tomorrow without Cerebral Palsy, I wouldn’t be able to write in the way I do now and therefore wouldn’t have my website. Because of my specific neurological differences, where some of my senses have over-compensated, I can now write.

When the senses are impaired, the brain does more with the information it gets from the remaining senses. The brain relies more on information from our working senses. The brain doesn’t simply …

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5 May, 2018

Joining the dots

A good friend of mine commented in one of his responses that my blogs helped him maintain a firm grip on life and although my blogs help me because they are based on my own thoughts and experiences and that helps bring about closure, it is slightly different for me.

I can design the puzzle, I can see the puzzle, I can even help others complete the puzzle, in the shape of my blogs, but sadly I can’t always complete it myself, because I have no control of …

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1 May, 2018

My anxiety struggles

I have always dealt with anxiety ever since I was a small child and although I didn’t know that is what it was, sadly no one thought to ask the question or do anything about it.

What I didn’t know was that my anxiety was because of neurological difficulties brought about through damage to my Cerebral Cortex, the part of the brain that deals with the emotions …

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29 Apr, 2018