The cycle of abuse

The sad reality is that because we don’t consciously see or equate people’s bad behaviour with abuse, we continually accept the behaviour we’re presented with.

But being aware of what is considered abuse, is the first step to understanding what abuse looks like. A person’s undertones, being intimidating, and where they make us feel nervous that is abuse …

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19 Jan, 2018

Why we may fail

Just because we choose to block things out, doesn’t mean those things didn’t happen, in the same way failing to acknowledge another person’s success doesn’t mean that person isn’t successful.

Blocking it out doesn’t make it so. Sadly, as we continue to block things out we will not only fail to recognise other people’s success, but our potential success too. Perhaps society, family and our …

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16 Jan, 2018

Why we mustn’t question

We will stop questioning ourselves when we start believing in ourselves. We question ourselves because we lack the confidence to believe in ourselves. It’s a vicious circle.

Believing in ourselves is another way of saying we have confidence. When we have the confidence, we’re telling ourselves and the world we can do this. But without self-belief we will fail on confidence …

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11 Jan, 2018

Saying how things are

Although being open and transparent doesn’t often rewarded us with brownie points, particularly from those who aren’t, it does mean we get to sit comfortably with our conscience.

And although being open and transparent about our lives doesn’t always sit comfortably with others, we shouldn’t have to accept another person’s behaviour, which is even more important …

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8 Jan, 2018

Losing motivation

We’re all capable of working through issues, but we often lose motivation when people continually undermine us and who are the reason behind our lack of motivation, how we feel about ourselves.

If you have or know people, who continually bring you down, leaving you to defend yourself, then perhaps it’s time to think about the relationship and how things could change. To do that we must …

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4 Jan, 2018

Coping with unconscious bias

With every conversation we have, good or bad that conversation becomes part of new conversations. Sadly, through unconscious bias, conversations that have taken place, never stay within the confinements of the original conversation.

All previous conversations tend to unconsciously follow us into new relationships with us apportioning blame on those who have nothing to do with those previous conversations. In other words …

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3 Jan, 2018

Forcing others to adapt

We force others to adapt instead of working with them. I’m not just referring to those of us who deal with disabilities, but in other walks of life too, where we’re expected to just fit in. This has been my life.

Society, people’s cultures, social change are all part of this scenario. We expect others to conform, adapt into what is the norm, even if the norm isn’t the norm for them. Life is hard, even harder …

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30 Dec, 2017

Holding on to hope

There’s something inside of us that holds on to hope as if our lives depended on it. As we journey through life, dealing with stress and trauma; we unconsciously continue to hold on to hope that our lives will change. We hold on to hope.

Hope is an inner feeling that stays with us. It’s a shining light not yet shone, it’s a desire that something positive will happen, or if we need something to change that that something will change …

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26 Dec, 2017

Hostile undertones

Sadly, hostile undertones are so familiar they’ve become part of everyday speak. They’re not funny, particularly if you’re on the receiving end.

Those who exhibit hostile undertones although they won’t always equate their tone as being hostile, if confronted they still wouldn’t agree. It’s usually us who is at fault. But on our part, we know the …

 

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21 Dec, 2017

Resentment & the truth

Sadly, persistent feelings of anger will always continue to harbour resentment in us. But what are we really doing when we hold on to a resentment and why is it in our best interest to let go?

As we begin to hold on to resentment, we begin to strengthen our identity and feelings as the one who was wronged, but in truth we’re unconsciously attempting to extract compassion and …

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17 Dec, 2017