Cerebral Palsy is never far from my mind, but that’s not surprising because Cerebral Palsy and being premature are part of my life. I hate how my life is governed by my condition. I can’t plan ahead to go places, days out and holidays, doing the normal things, putting myself out there and getting ill.
I hate being fatigued. Just going for a walk interferes with my ability to function normally. I hate being tired, losing concentration and tripping up. It takes a couple of hours for me to fully recover from a half hour walk.
Unfortunately, my frustrations are my family’s frustrations too and that’s even more frustrating, because they’re irritated and I am tied to the condition and there’s nothing I can do about it. Because the condition is mild it also makes what I deal with more difficult, because it’s not like a broken leg where everyone notices and the sympathy’s there.
I find myself having to fight to find a place that fits in with everyone, for them to be okay with what I deal with. I was looking at some old photographs of me as a child and although the tell tale signs of my physical disabilities were visible, I didn’t seem too perturbed by the symptoms I never knew I had.
My smile in the photographs tell a different story. I believe reflection saved me from the depths of despair and some very low moments, including my physical and neurological difficulties.