A clearer understanding

Having Cerebral Palsy and never being told that is what I had, would be like having to join up the dots and I’m now having to find ways and means of understanding what I’ve had to deal with.

I have now found a book that is helping me verify and recognise some of my developmental delays. The book addresses developmental delays associated with numerous conditions and includes cognitive, physical and emotional delays, associated with Cerebral Palsy.

Not knowing my symptoms, because my parents chose not to quantify anything about what my struggles were whilst I was growing up, meant I was constantly stuck in the dark. All I can do now is work things out for myself.

I will write more in the coming weeks on my blog, once I start to cross check my symptoms through the help of this amazing book.

14 Nov, 2015

4 thoughts on “A clearer understanding

  1. Anything that can help us discover a clearer understanding about who we are and why we are, can only be a good thing. I’m glad you’ve found a book to help you. The book sounds awesome!

  2. Yes, it does make it a lot harder if your issues were never acknowledged or validated as a child.

    My parents never dealt with their own issues, so it shouldn’t be surprising that they didn’t want to deal with mine. I had to deal with most of it on my own, by reading self-help books and trying to make sense of it all. I could admit to myself that I had issues, but I never fully accepted them, because I didn’t want to be anything like my parents! The reality is that I turned out to be so much worse, because I wouldn’t face that I was just like them.

    Only now have I come to understand that I’m the only one who can work on taking care of myself. It doesn’t matter that they invalidated my issues, to the point where I came to believe everything was actually my fault. They had no idea of how they destroyed me, my mind, body and soul!

    It definitely wasn’t fair what they put me through, but no one ever said that life was fair. The hardest part for me is to let go of all those resentments so that I can move on with MY life.

    1. Thanks Randy. When we can come through any issue with a clearer understanding we will have gained a sense of achievement.

      I too carried a lot of guilt, but began to realise later on that the guilt I was carrying wasn’t my guilt to carry and learned to let it go. It takes time of course, but it is well worth the effort when we begin to feel better about ourselves and what we have had to deal with.

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Many thanks
Ilana x