My experiences, my feelings on how I got to this place will never leave me. I am not wittingly choosing to carry those, or spite those who have done to this to me, but ignoring a child who has a disability and special needs, isn’t something you just get over, it’s something that child learns to live with.
As the adult, I choose not to be defined by cerebral palsy and autism, it is doable; but others will still be responsible. Their lives will always be intertwined with mine. However hard they try to ignore what’s been done, the universe will let them know they’re not done.
With my father having told me his reasoning, there is no doubt spirit was protecting him, because my disability was mild enough for it to be ignored, but they were also pleading with me, telling me to be patient, that the tide would turn, that I needed to wait, that I would go on to bigger and better things, that I wasn’t to give up and that I would come through the better person.
Me being at a disadvantage as a child was spirits way of saying your life will be corrected, it will come good. I couldn’t see then what I know now. Yes, it has taken me 56 years to come to know and understand my disability, but there is still a positive side to it. I could never have grown emotionally or mentally through the process had the normal course of events happened.
I could also never have foreseen then, how my father not being able to cope with a child with a disability and special needs, was going to shape my own future with my successful website and soon to be book, but I needed to wait and trust in the ‘higher force’ that my life would come good.
I could never have foreseen that the universe needed me to go through my experiences. That this was part of the universe’s bigger plan for me.