The CP Diary is a journey of self-discovery, amongst other things. It’s a place where I feel safe, I can say what I feel in ways that are appropriate, even if I’m feeling bad about something.
It’s also a place where I can give others food for thought on their own lives and how they can get the best from what they have to deal with. I feel better when I write about and talk about things, even if I know I can’t change things.
Having recently looked through some of my medical records that I acquired 5 years ago, I have now found out that I have a very mild secondary non-structural scoliosis. In the same letter my doctor also confirmed that this diagnosis was brought about by a difference in my leg length because of Cerebral Palsy.
I remember the consultation as if it were yesterday, but don’t remember the discussion that took place. I was the child, I didn’t participate in the discussion. As was always the case with any consultation I attended, nothing was ever discussed by my father with me after we left, so the diagnosis has now come as quite a shock.
I feel angry and agitated and think it neglectful. Not knowing what I have been dealing with for all of these years means I have paid a heavy price.