As a small child, my mum used to tell me that a leopard can’t change its spots and I grew up believing it until I became the adult. I don’t believe it’s true. I believe people can and do change.
Whilst it’s true we work from well-established patterns, it’s not true that we can’t tweak, modify or alter aspects of those patterns. We absolutely can. If we continually unconsciously choose to blame others for our problems through what they’ve done, we will never look to or change anything. The majority of time we live in denial that we have a problem. It’s usually someone else with the problem.
We must first learn to observe our behaviour in an attempt to understand, find out why and see the bigger picture. We should look and at least try to understand our own role and other people’s roles, where we see ourselves in those roles and let go of the things that don’t belong to us.
In my own case, I felt guilty about many things and felt even more guilt because no one took responsibility for how I felt. When I began to see that I had very little to do with the things that happened to me, I learned to let go, even though others who were responsible still never owned up to their parts. We must learn not to carry what doesn’t belong to us, but in our reality, that is exactly what we do.
We may not always get an apology, and that’s fine, we don’t always have to have one. Instead, we need to understand and see the bigger picture and then learn to let go of what doesn’t belong to us.
Once we understand, it’s easier to let go and change. I believe anyone can change if they want to change. From my own transformation through my writing, it’s clear a leopard can change its spots.