A life ignored

When a child is taken to the family doctor, who then arranges a specialist consultation for that child that child then sees a specialist who then reports that child’s condition back to the family doctor.

The family doctor then informs her parents, who doesn’t say anything. They take that child to the hospital for 12 years, to physiotherapy once a week, the athletic institute once a year for 12 years and that child still doesn’t know what’s wrong, so the child grows up knowing nothing about what she’s dealing with, or why.

The child struggles emotionally and physically throughout her childhood and becomes angry. She is finally discharged at 25 through another specialist consultation that highlights another issue she didn’t know she had, because it wasn’t picked up initially when the original cerebral palsy diagnosis was made, still not knowing she has cerebral palsy.

They ignore the emotional side and the diagnosis, expecting the child to fall into line. They then choose to block it out indefinitely as if it didn’t exist.

5 Nov, 2017

4 thoughts on “A life ignored

  1. Your description of that scenario is quite incredible. I’m not sure how any parent could treat a child like that. It’s pretty much the opposite of how that situation should have been handled.

    Any child would have a right to be angry and the parents would only have themselves to blame.

    1. I agree. Difficult for any child to comprehend that a parent or parents could do this and not have any sense of morality and parental allegiance to that child.

      I’m not sure what else to say. Perhaps, numb or disbelief are good adjectives to use.

  2. Wow, it still boggles my mind how any parent could do this to their child and allow them to suffer so needlessly.

    We knew what we had to do when my daughter was diagnosed and didn’t think twice about it. There also wasn’t any way that we could pretend that she didn’t have it either, considering her disabilities were rather obvious since she couldn’t really use her right side.

    Truly such a shame what your parents did to you, since they obviously knew about it but chose to pretend like you didn’t have any issues; like it was just going to magically go away. My parents were pretty famous for ignoring any of the issues we had, so I would hate to imagine if any of us would have had Cerebral Palsy.

    You had every right to be angry and still do which can be the hardest thing to deal with. So often I wonder what my life could have been like, if I would have had normal parents who didn’t try to hide any of our issues, like they were really something to be ashamed of.

    It certainly wasn’t like any of us asked to have the conditions that we do. My dad was an alcoholic and my mom had serious untreated mental health issues, so the last thing I wanted was to be anything like either of them.

    Turns out I was just like both of them and by choosing not to deal with my issues, out of the guilt, shame and remorse they buried me under, I ended up becoming something so much worse and my daughter paid the highest price.

    I wasn’t able to be there for her like I wanted to be and now I have to help her deal with those issues, while I also work on dealing with mine.

    1. Thanks Randy. What happened to you was never about you, in the same way what happened to me was never about me, but they were made about us.

      As I see it, you’re not like either parent Randy, particularly as you’re working so hard to change how you do things. Yes, you see your faults, but you’re aware and wanting to make those changes for you and your daughter.

      That makes you different to your parents. The guilt, shame and remorse aren’t yours either. They firmly belong to your parents, this other the other side of life.

      I hope you get to see your life in the way I describe Randy. Not always easy of course, but the first step to any healing is to recognise the bigger picture of what’s passed.

      You’re doing that. I’m so proud of you.

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