A little too late

There are some things that are a little too late for us to make amends. When anything becomes too late, the events that should have taken place in that time move on, as do those we’re in touch with to make those things happen, as ‘my story’ shows.

With any potential new findings years on, a different thought process is needed, not only to deal with the new information, but the loss of what we’ve had to leave behind. It’s often too late for people like me who are catapulted into a life of uncertainty, with no potential outcome the other end.

Even with an apology, having to reassess new information on something of this magnitude comes far too late, and even if those responsible decided they wanted me to know about my disability earlier, they would still have left it too late to make amends.

The earlier the apology comes the easier it is to forgive and move on, but if and when an apology comes late, it’s usually an afterthought to clear ones conscience.

3 Jul, 2018

4 thoughts on “A little too late

  1. We rarely consider how time sensitive apologies have left us orphaned by being too late. Then just before we descend into senility, we get the selfish version of an apology, because someone wants to be free from guilt.

    I seek that kind of freedom myself from time to time.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, we rarely consider how time sensitive apologies leave us orphaned by being too late. Does that even register? Over the years I was more concerned about the injustices through a lack of an apology.

      I do think it sad that guilt is the reason why so many people come back in, instead of doing what’s right in the first place, and when they do come back in, it’s often too late in the day and the damage is done.

      For others they simply choose not to apologise and would rather go to the grave without apologising.

  2. I feel like I have been apologizing my whole life for everything, when most of the time I wasn’t the one making the mistakes, like saying I’m sorry to people, about my parents behavior.

    They never seemed to be too bothered by what people thought of them, but we were painfully aware that we were considered poor white trash, which is one Hell of a stigma to be burdened with as a child.

    Neither one of them ever came near to an apology to us, for what they put us through before they died, so that has left a very large open wound on my soul that isn’t ever going to heal.

    It’s definitely too late now since they’re both dead, but it would have been nice if it had have happened. There are still days when I catch myself holding my breath waiting for the apology, but it never will.

    1. I have confidence in you Randy and believe you can heal even without your parents apology.

      You’re bigger and better than that. Yes, it would be lovely to have an apology, but life isn’t like that and we don’t always get what is deserved. I am in the same position as you.

      Just because you don’t have the apology doesn’t mean your parents aren’t accountable or responsible for what they’ve done. An apology won’t change how you feel about them or what they’ve done.

      With each generation we have the opportunity to do better than our parents. That should make us feel better and is the reason why we don’t always need their apology.

      Our life is about us, in the here and now. We must want to do better. We can’t do that if we’re holding on to our parents’ guilt.

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Ilana x