A new understanding

On the 17th May 2014, it will be 4 years since I started my journey with The CP Diary and I’ve become slightly more reflective than usual. I feel as though I have grown through many of my experiences and brought closure on many things that have happened in my life, but I may never bring full closure on my Cerebral Palsy.

If not knowing that I had Cerebral Palsy for 46 years of my life is neglect, then unfortunately that is what I have been dealing with for all of these years. The fact that my parents didn’t want to know what I was dealing with makes it all the more difficult for me to bring closure. Although acceptance is often the acknowledgment of the facts and I have those, closure is slightly different.

Having gone through my own process of elimination, I conclude my parents will have known I had Cerebral Palsy. Even in the 60’s doctors will have had a duty to tell my parents my diagnosis. I was under the care of the hospital for 15 years, it would be difficult for them not to know why they were taking me. I now have correspondence that supports that theory.

I know my father couldn’t bring himself to talk about my problems with me, so my issues as far as Cerebral Palsy were concerned were never addressed. When I eventually found out that I had Cerebral Palsy, I asked him why he hadn’t told me. His response was that he didn’t want to know. I get it but don’t agree with it. It’s a parents’ job to help their children, regardless of their own insecurities.

It’s a bit more difficult bringing closure on not being told for all those years and then having to be told by a complete stranger.

15 May, 2014

8 thoughts on “A new understanding

  1. Happy early anniversary on the CP diary. Thank you for developing it, it has helped me with my journey. I can’t believe it has been 4 years! Time sure does fly.

    The fact that your parents knew and didn’t tell you because they didn’t want to know was selfish on their part. I’m sure things would have been different for you if you had have known, but all things considered I think you are doing great!!

    Keep up the good work you do!

    1. Thank you for your thoughts Lisa. I think you’re right. All things considered, I feel I have come a long way.

      I am so pleased that The CP Diary has helped you on your journey. I set the Diary up to help me come to terms with my own experiences and to do something positive for the first time in my life and in doing so, I have managed to help others along the way, which I am pleased about.

      I feel I have achieved all of that and more. Thank you for your continued support.

  2. Happy Anniversary for Saturday to The CP Diary and well done on such a huge achievement, turning something so negative into this great site. Like Lisa, I think you’re doing great too!

  3. It is truly a sad thing when parents won’t accept or deal with their child’s problem. My parents seemed more concerned about their own problems rather than dealing with any issues we may have had.

    I tried very hard to deal with my daughter’s CP but my demons took over my life when I didn’t deal with them. I just find it kind of insulting when a parent doesn’t help their child when it wouldn’t take much effort on their part.

    I’m hoping I can at least try to do what I can now as a parent to help make my daughter’s life at least a little better!

    1. As you say Randy, we can only change it for ourselves.

      Not all parents will be able to deal with their children’s problems, but it’s up to us when they don’t to put it right for our own children, if we can. Thanks Randy.

  4. Congratulations on your 4 year anniversary and Thank you for being you and giving us the inside scoop on what it is like to deal with CP. You are a true inspiration. I am amazed by your composure and openness.

    How your parents dealt with this and other issues in your life has not dampened your spirit nor insight. You have come to terms with it and have done so many right things for your family unit and us.

    Keep up the fight and we’ll be here listening!

    1. You’re welcome. I’m just being me, whatever me is! My parents made me even more inquisitive about my life, because they told me nothing. I must have stored so many of my thoughts as a child, those thoughts had to go somewhere!

      I believe I would have always got to this place, particularly with my CP because there was no let up on my part. The CP Diary came in on the back of me finding out. I am both humbled and honoured to be able to help others with my insight.

      Thanks for listening!!

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