On the 17th May 2014, it will be 4 years since I started my journey with The CP Diary and I’ve become slightly more reflective than usual. I feel as though I have grown through many of my experiences and brought closure on many things that have happened in my life, but I may never bring full closure on my Cerebral Palsy.
If not knowing that I had Cerebral Palsy for 46 years of my life is neglect, then unfortunately that is what I have been dealing with for all of these years. The fact that my parents didn’t want to know what I was dealing with makes it all the more difficult for me to bring closure. Although acceptance is often the acknowledgment of the facts and I have those, closure is slightly different.
Having gone through my own process of elimination, I conclude my parents will have known I had Cerebral Palsy. Even in the 60’s doctors will have had a duty to tell my parents my diagnosis. I was under the care of the hospital for 15 years, it would be difficult for them not to know why they were taking me. I now have correspondence that supports that theory.
I know my father couldn’t bring himself to talk about my problems with me, so my issues as far as Cerebral Palsy were concerned were never addressed. When I eventually found out that I had Cerebral Palsy, I asked him why he hadn’t told me. His response was that he didn’t want to know. I get it but don’t agree with it. It’s a parents’ job to help their children, regardless of their own insecurities.
It’s a bit more difficult bringing closure on not being told for all those years and then having to be told by a complete stranger.