My job as a parent has always been to get past my own insecurities, but I can’t vouch for my children picking up on other people’s insecurities.
As a child, I struggled with the fact that I didn’t have the support or the guidance to help me through my physical and emotional difficulties, but I was determined to make sure history didn’t repeat itself, with me being instrumental in my own children’s insecurities and I believe I have achieved that.
I was lucky enough to understand that although I continued to struggle emotionally, I knew my insecurities weren’t about me. My insecurities were simply other people’s issues of me, of my disability. Even though I may have failed at many things, I choose not to own those things, because those things weren’t of my own doing. They were as consequence of my difficulties and others’ decisions.
As parents, we don’t want our children to have to go through what we went through. That their lives will be different, easier for them. It stands to reason, therefore that the more positive input we give our children, the less insecurities they will have, the easier their lives will be.
Unfortunately, we can’t always protect them from other people’s insecurities or behaviour, particularly family because that’s where our stories begin, but as parents we can point out the pitfalls as we go, in the hope that our children get to see what we see and adjust their lives accordingly.