A Reason

I periodically tried to ask questions as a child about my physical problems and then in my twenties I became desperate for answers. But in view of my childhood and the lack of parental support, it would go on to take me another 25 years to find the answer on what I had been dealing with physically for all those years.

Unfortunately, the longer we take to find something out, the longer it takes for us to emotionally work through the issues. I believe that what saved me, was not the fact that I had a physical problem, but the fact that I was continually able to rationalise my thoughts.

Every day I would find reason to understand, even though I had no idea what. The condition itself was immaterial. Everyone has a right to know, but knowing would never have changed the outcome. Emotionally, I had to come to terms with and cope with my physical and emotional difficulties. Sometimes we must reason our way through.


5 May, 2015

6 thoughts on “A Reason

  1. I agree and coming to terms with any issue that affects us, is the first step in us emotionally adjusting to looking at that issue differently, putting it where it belongs and then moving forward.

    In your case you have shown how such a significant issue, can be turned around and channelled positively.

    1. Thank you. I agree with you. Yes coming to terms with any issue that emotionally affects us is the first step. That needs to happen if we are to move forward.

  2. It’s perfectly okay to experience the cycle of blame, anger and grief before we arrive at the point of acceptance and resolution with our issues. But I have a fractured relationship with reason when it involves innocence born to CP or any other oppressive condition; it’s something I find very unreasonable.

    It takes a strong person to reason with that which oppresses them, and I admire you for that.

    1. Thanks Tim. It definitely took me a while to understand how to work through the anger and blame, because I too had a fractured relationship with reason.

      It makes it particularly hard to let go when no-one accepts their part in something which could have been avoided and if not avoided, accept responsibility. All responsibility must be owned if we are responsible.

      In my own case, my Cerebral Palsy could have been avoided had the right measures been in place at my birth. When we come to know something could have been avoided, it makes our reasoning even more fractured, but an acceptance or understanding must still be found.

  3. I have thought about how my CP could have been prevented from happening. If only the doctor was present when I was ready to be born, I would have received the necessary oxygen my brain needed. It’s frustrating that it happened because of one person.

    I have come to accept my reality, but during moments of frustration I can’t help but wonder how my life would have been without CP. I just need to remind myself that it is what it is and make the best of it.

    1. Thanks Maria. I feel for you too. I remember my mum telling me the same thing, but had my father been present he could have done something about getting my mum the help she needed.

      In times of struggle as you say, we can always look back and wish things were different, but what we deal with shapes who we become. Without our struggles spiritually and emotionally we will fail to grow.

      It’s through our struggles we grow, not when things go right for us.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *