A reflection of us

People will always see children as a reflection of their parents. Whilst I don’t agree that parents are entirely to blame as children come into contact with many more influences, the buck stops with us.

Children are in school five days a week for a number of years, so it stands to reason that as parents we have less control over other people’s decisions around our children, their influences and how they deal with our children.

The people and influences our children come into contact with will shape their view of the world as well as being responsible for their change in behavior and perceptions. Couple that with peer pressure and the child you left at the school gate, isn’t the child coming home at the end of the school day.

It’s not that parents won’t have an influence on their children, but this is often diluted and tempered with other external influences. As long as the right foundations are in place and children are brought into line where necessary, there shouldn’t be a problem, as long as children don’t go off the rails and begin to make unwise choices for themselves.

Unfortunately, the choices our children make will always have a reflection on us. My mum used to tell me the exact same thing. When things go wrong it’s the parents that are responsible. As for other people, perhaps they need to see and understand the bigger picture first.

Emotionally, we all have things that we deal with, sometimes those things are not always obvious, but they’re there. There are reasons behind all of our choices.


7 Dec, 2014

4 thoughts on “A reflection of us

  1. Yes, I agree with you. It’s not always the parents. The outside world I think has a bigger influence on our children than we do some times.

    My husband and I always joke around when our son does something silly and say that he takes after his mom or dad (meaning us) and of course we know we are just joking around, but people are so judgmental sometimes.

    Blaming the parents isn’t right. We have to think of the influence that society has on the child and then of course there is peer pressure to also consider. older kids are so impressionable when it comes to peer pressure. They just want to fit in.

    To fit in they must go along with the crowd even if that means doing things they shouldn’t, or that they were taught by their parents not to do. I know when I was a young teen I did things I shouldn’t have done just so I would have friends and fit in with the crowd.

  2. Yes, people always blame the parents if their kids turn out badly but it has a lot to do with nature too, as kids face so many other influences!

    School can be like a combat zone if you’re different from the other kids and they can be downright sadistic about pointing them out. My parents had their faults, but I also made a lot of unwise choices because I didn’t know any better and no one had shown me the difference!

    I watch my daughter being basically house bound and it kills me, because I know I caused a lot of her issues by not being there for her. What it comes down to is that I can’t expect her to do a lot of the things I would like her to do if I’m not doing them myself!

    I have to lead by example since her mother is unwell and she should be able to enjoy her life while she’s still young.

    1. Thanks Randy. I agree with you that children do have different natures, but a lot of how we turn out is often down to what we see through our parents, peer pressure and our environments.

      Parents will always have responsibilities for their children, so there’s no getting away from the fact that children will always be a reflection of their parents. Children will always have other influences in their lives, but that shouldn’t take away anyone’s responsibility, whether it be a parent or another person known to that child.

      Children will always be seen as a reflection of their parents’ through other people’s eyes and I can’t see that scenario changing any time soon.

      It’s important that as parents we make sure other people see our children positively and how they see us is also positive.

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