The last two journals have been poignant for me. They’ve also brought back many thoughts of what I get to deal with.
I cannot believe what a difference a week makes. My life a week ago seemed easier. We’ve all been working through new experiences. All the things I’ve been dealing with have been on the back burner for many months now. That was okay, because I wasn’t focusing on them; but on the back of such a tough week, they’re back now.
Looking back there hasn’t been a time where things in my life have gone smoothly. I’ve all had things to deal with individually and now as a family. You would think we’d be used to dealing with yet more things. In theory it works, but in practice it never seems to work the same way.
We tell ourselves we can cope, but subconsciously our mind tells us something different. It plays out many a different story to the one our conscious mind plays out. I’ve never been one to run away. I’ve always faced my many issues and brought about closure one way or another.
Now I would love to be somewhere where I don’t have to think and where I don’t have to deal with things. That would be nice. I’m tired of having to think about what my next move has to be all the time.
The time when things seemed easier was a trip we did to Nice just before my mother passed away 4 years ago. Nothing since has gone right. I think things tend to happen that way and then from nowhere like a bolt out of the blue, those things seem to correct themselves.