A weight off my shoulders

Finding out about cerebral palsy at 46 and autism at 56, means the weight off my shoulders has finally been lifted. Learning about my disabilities, my symptoms and my challenges has literally been life-changing.

Anything we struggle with that we get to know about, ‘is a’ weight off our shoulders. It’s my truth, knowing my truth is a relief. Even if I had been able to place my disability as a child, I would still have needed to understand ‘me.’

Learning about myself and writing about my experiences has not only brought about clarity, but it has brought what I had to deal with out of the doldrums, and it’s finally no longer a secret. Where others have free will, the universe is unable to act and help us.

The fact that my disability is no longer hidden is the biggest weight lifted. To be able to share my concerns, to know that I’m not alone, that we all deal with something, helps.

Sharing my thoughts alleviates my anxiety, it’s a release, a respite; it lifts the burden, it eases all of my concerns with a little more ease.


9 Apr, 2021

4 thoughts on “A weight off my shoulders

  1. ‘Knowing is half the battle.’ Most of my life has been spent, pretending that I didn’t have any problems, but it was extremely obvious as to what those problems really were, even though nobody else wanted to admit it.

    I can understand what you say about it being a weight off your shoulders; finally stopping pretending that I was normal has been such a relief in so many ways.

    It’s hard to act like everything is always okay when it’s not.

    1. Thanks Randy. I’m glad. You know and the universe knows. I think your parents will also know now. And I couldn’t agree more.

      Yes, even though we may struggle initially with what we deal with, I believe we struggle even more with not being allowed to be who we are.

  2. Mark Twain once said: “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.”

    Ilana, the weight was removed from your shoulders when you finally discovered that you were born to calm this chaotic world through your writings, that gift is not privy to many of us.

    With absolute certainty, I know you are just beginning to achieve what you were born to do.

    1. Thanks Tim. Your words are ‘music to my ears.’ Thank you! Sadly, it’s because the creative side of my brain is damaged that I struggle to connect with words, and you are right.

      That much is evident and I am humbled and grateful. There is never a day go by when I take for granted what I have and what I have managed to achieve with my blog.

      Against the odds and for many years, the odds were very much stacked against me, but my life has come good. Having read the book yourself Tim, you know I never gave up on ‘hope.’ Hope gives us reason to continue, an open door, a life potentially beyond what we know at that time.

      I know what my book can do to help others and I am grateful for the many wonderful positive comments on the feedback of my Cerebral Palsy: ‘A Story’ Book and amazing reviews, including your own.

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