People taking advantage

Being taken for granted starts when we’re unable to say No to friends or family when they ask us to do things. That what starts out as a favour to them, becomes a little more when we feel we can’t say No?

As a little girl, because I wanted to be accepted, this used to apply to me all the time. We all do it for different reasons, but I think that if we don’t want to do something, we should be able to say no without any recourse to ourselves. We’re not being rude when we say no, we’re just being truthful. Nothing should be expected.

The problem with being nice all the time means it becomes too easy for other people to take advantage. Those people will already see us as ‘being nice’ and that’s the reason why they begin to take liberties. It’s because we don’t say anything.

We should all use our discretion, decide whether we should say okay to what others ask, or decide whether we need to firm up and say No. The problem is that once we give others the opportunity to take advantage, they will always behave this way. What starts off as a kind gesture on our part, becomes a bad habit through the other end.

It’s time to face up to the people who take advantage. For some that may be an impossible task, because as easy as it is just to say No, it also depends on whom we’re talking too. Knowing our customers is easy, but knowing how to deal with their reaction to us saying No is a little more difficult; not impossible but has to be done.

My own belief is that if we learn to say No, the people who constantly take advantage, will look to others to ask favours of. We need to think about our own needs for a change; learn to stay in control and not be afraid to tell them ‘No.’

29 Nov, 2011

8 thoughts on “People taking advantage

  1. Learning to say no at the right time is a skill.

    I used to be a yes man to my first boss, but I learned through the years I did not have to say yes to everything the boss said or wanted me to do, especially when it meant I may injure myself in the process.

    I once refused to go to the bank on a very icy day for fear I would break a bone. He said, ‘oh you would rather me break a bone.’ I said better you than me LOL!

    1. I like your last sentence Randy. You’re right learning to say no is a skill we’re okay with or we’re not… but I believe in time it’s something we can learn to have. We’re not born with the skill, it’s one that’s developed over time.

      I believe it comes from both learned behavior and a lack of confidence and self-esteem. When we have confidence we send out a different remit. A remit that says we’re making our own choices without having to accept what someone else says we should do.

      Back to your last paragraph… now there’s confidence for you. I like it!

  2. I really don’t have a problem saying NO to some people, but there are those that I just feel guilty if I say no.

    I usually end up doing what was asked, which almost always is a big time consuming ‘favor’ and more trouble than it’s worth. But hind sight is 20/20.

    1. I am pleased you don’t have a problem saying no when you feel the need Bill. We should all go with what works for us.

      In my experience I found the more I had a history with a person, the more I felt guilty about saying no. Just curious to know if that’s what you feel.

  3. Getting over the guilty feeling of saying ‘no’ when the other person expects a ‘yes’ can be hard.

    At the end of the day we should act to please ourselves and not others.

    1. From having always said yes to everyone, I totally agree with you. We should act to please ourselves, I know that now.

  4. I agree. People will take advantage of us if we let them and we need to say no once in a while.

    It has happened to me. I have a big heart and love to give and help others.

    I am a nurse. We are care givers and the ones that are true nurses do this.

    1. Like you Lisa I have experienced the same problems. You’re absolutely right, we do need to stand firm and say no.

      The problem I have with once in a while is that when we begin to say yes again; those people who accept that we are saying yes will ask again because they know we will always say yes.

      It’s because we have such big hearts and don’t like letting people down that we’re taken advantage of.

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