Accepting your imperfections

It would be difficult for anyone to find inner peace when they can’t accept their imperfections. Unfortunately, the desire for perfection and a need for inner peace will always be in conflict.

I have seen people close to me feel the need to change something because they want it better than the way they have it now. It simply doesn’t end well. We need to be grateful and content on the things we have, rather than wanting to change or fix everything, and make the things we have better and bigger.

I also believe that the act of focusing on our imperfections takes us away from inner peace. Despite the best of intentions, we can’t do or give of our best when we’re attached to and focused on the wrong things.

How many of us validate ourselves by always wanting perfection? We look for perfection, convincing ourselves other areas of our lives will be right when we have it, when in reality, we should be seeking to do the opposite. The idea of a world in which everyone and everything is perfect is nonsensical.

Being born with cerebral palsy made me less than perfect. It was other people’s inability to accept that I wasn’t perfect as a child that showed me a different way to be. There will always be easier ways to work things out, that may give us a better outcome, but that’s not the same as having to have perfection in those things.

I believe that we need to bring about awareness of what we’re doing, so that when we fall into the habit of wanting to change things so they’re perfect, we tell ourselves that they are fine as they are. We need to remind ourselves that our life is okay as it is. We’re okay. It’s okay not to be perfect.

As we begin to eliminate the need to be perfect or have perfection in our lives, we will begin to discover that okay is good enough. Simply put, we need to make peace with ourselves and with our imperfections.

31 Jan, 2012

12 thoughts on “Accepting your imperfections

  1. Imperfections about my character I can accept.

    I had no choice in having CP, that’s what I find hard to accept. I didn’t do this to myself.

    1. I completely understand. I remember being very angry myself as a child because I hated the fact that I wasn’t perfect. As much as it’s hard to come to any form of acceptance on what we deal with, I believe not accepting ourselves makes us feel worse about us and what we have to deal with.

      Sometimes we just have to find a place so that we can accept our imperfections. You didn’t ask for it, you’re right… but you have it. It is the same for me.

      From my own experience as a child, not accepting how I was made me more miserable and even more angry and a nightmare to be around.

  2. I always got the message as a child that even if I was perfect all the time, it wouldn’t matter since my parents wouldn’t have noticed or even cared.

    It gave me the negative perception that it wasn’t even worth trying to accomplish anything in life as far as people wouldn’t even notice.

    I’m only just now starting to be able to move beyond listening to those old tapes that play so frequently in my head. I’m just praying that one day I won’t have so much noise in my head!

    1. This was not about you or how imperfect you were, you were just a child. This is about how your parents dealt with you as a child.

      I believe that if our parents encourage and reinforce all that is positive, we will be encouraged to see ourselves in a more positive light, even if we’re not perfect. I don’t believe any of us are and will be totally perfect, but we need to be of accepting of ourselves and our imperfections instead of trying to make things more perfect in our lives.

      I believe that once you have worked this all out, you will be able to play a different more positive tape in your head!

  3. I tried to be perfect for many years and accepted (a few years ago) that it just wasn’t worth it. Nobody appreciated it anyway except myself. I don’t try for perfection anymore.

    I’m happy with myself and my husband isn’t too disappointed with me.

    1. Ditto Lisa. I have to agree with you. Not accepting our imperfections just adds more to our stress.

      We may never reach a plateau where we’re completely happy with ourselves or our choices, because of some of the stress we have. I don’t believe any of us don’t live with stress.

      I believe though, we need to find inner happiness regardless of whether we’re perfect or not. In my opinion the more imperfections we have the better. If we’re more accepting of our imperfections, we’ll be more accepting of ourselves.

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