We’re taught that it’s easier to turn the other cheek on someone’s bad behaviour. Like it is okay for them to behave badly and for us to turn the other cheek. I remember being taught the exact thing as a child.
I believe it all comes down to the way people react to other people’s behaviour in certain circumstances. For example, if someone is unkind to you but you respond with kindness, the effect of that person’s bad behaviour is your affection. By being nice to people who are unkind, you’re essentially continuing to encourage their bad behaviour.
It’s important we explain how we feel, so we stop holding on to what is their negativity. We cannot change the way other people speak or behave towards us, but we can change the way we perceive what they say and how they say it; even if we can’t always prevent what they say. Rewarding anyone’s bad behaviour is an admission that we’re okay with how the other person behaves.
In the longer term this not only adds to unnecessary stress, but it’s also an excuse for us to avoid dealing with conflict, because that is what it amounts to. In my own experience where we’re trying to avoid conflict by not saying what we really feel and should, we’re creating more conflict by bottling things up.
No one, regardless of circumstance, should be rewarded with kindness for bad or mean behaviour. They’re accountable just as much as we are for our own behaviour.