I love the fact that I get to blog about things that I’ve never been able to speak about. Not being able to speak about those things in my formative years is exactly why I have my blog and why I write now.
With a recent Autism diagnosis it very much feels as though I’m back at square one. I lost the battle to bring closure earlier, but once the opportunity presented to me and that is exactly how it happened, for the first time I was able to set wheels in motion. For the last 9 years I have come to learn everything about my disability, now I can adjust into my life with my disability, just being me.
No matter how hard it is to understand why our life works out the way it does in our formative years, we can change how we see ourselves even if something we’re to happen that would change the status quo. I could have continued to hone-in on all the negativity around my physical and emotional problems growing up, or I could choose to live with hope. I chose the latter.
But I’m no different to anyone else who has struggled with trauma, neglect or abuse. Whatever we deal with through trauma, it’s how we interpret and what we take from trauma that changes how we get to live our lives.
We can take lessons from our experiences so that we understand how we got to where we are, or we can continue to be a victim and change nothing. Even though I feel I’m back at square one, it’s obvious with nearly 9 years of blogs behind me I’m not.
Feeling slightly battered and bruised with a new diagnosis, it’s going to take a good while longer to work through the emotional consequences of the report contents.