Over the last few months, I have been writing about various topics that help bring about wellness. I’d like to write about friendships, which is something that I’ve had to deal with over the years, as I am sure we all have too.
Whilst we don’t always find ourselves in good places and we try to muddle through, we tend to forget about others, so we don’t reach out. Society, our environments and family put pressure on us to behave a certain way, which sometimes means we don’t fit into other friendships.
We in turn find the need to want and fit into our lives with others, form friendships around those we’ve grown up with and new people we’re in contact with. Then we begin to mirror their behaviour that in turn doesn’t fall into line with the way we’ve been brought up.
Friendship should be based on mutual respect, accountability and trust. Friendships mature over time and where acceptance is given, regardless of each other’s faults. When my mum was ill that didn’t happen for me. Friendship is about sharing memories, participating in each other’s personal growth as well as being there for each other in hard times.
Friends care for one another, are concerned for one another, look out for one another, without looking for something back in return. Friendships require patience and understanding. Friendship also requires acceptance without being critical or judgmental on either side.
Balance is important in all friendships. Good friends accept that the world isn’t altogether perfect and that with a not so perfect world there may be misunderstandings that crop up along the way. Being able to forgive a friend for those misunderstandings is just part of it and that’s fine, but it’s also important that both sides accept responsibility where they are responsible.
We must be willing to accept where we could have done things better. To feel calm, content and at peace with someone is a sign of friendship that has stood the test of time and not having to try too hard to keep it.