My mind seems to be tied into the Cerebral Palsy scenario. Writing helps me put what I feel back into perspective. Sadly, not only did I miss out on my milestones as a child, I didn’t have an abundance of confidence or self-esteem. I realise now that there was a lot of negativity surrounding my condition.
When we deal with something it’s easy to pick out all the bits we don’t like about ourselves, but dealing with something from an early age gives us that little more to go at. In other circumstances, where it may take us to reach adolescence, before we notice everything we don’t like about ourselves, from an early age I already knew there were things I didn’t like.
I didn’t like that my left foot was a different shape to my right. I also didn’t like the fact that when I was standing straight I was lopsided. I didn’t like looking at myself in the mirror with skirts on, but what I didn’t like the most was living with no emotional support and not knowing what I was dealing with.
Support gives us the freedom to choose, the freedom to make better choices, the freedom to allow us to deal with negativity positively. When that doesn’t happen, we either muddle through, we make less than perfect choices or we stagnate and blame because we’re not strong enough emotionally to make better choices for ourselves.
Growing up with physical and emotional issues meant there were days where everything seemed to overwhelm me. No matter how good family are at giving support, support where others go through what we go through, there is already an understanding that implies, “I know how you feel, I understand what you’re going through.”
Support that comes from others who deal with similar experiences, the support that says I’m here for you, I’m willing to listen, help where I can, is the best kind.