Having gone through years of not knowing that I had Cerebral Palsy, it would be very easy for me to continue to see those people responsible negatively and in a bad light, but looking at the bigger picture I’m not sure how fair that would be.
Although on our part we would very much be warranted and in our rights to continue to feel animosity towards those significant others, I do believe that somewhere in their more lucid moments, they did care.
Yes, my Cerebral Palsy was ignored and living through ignorance, frustration and anger wasn’t right either, but looking at the bigger picture I know in my father’s own way he did care. For 46 years of my life, although he couldn’t talk about or deal with the fact that I had something wrong with me, for 15 of those years he took me to all my necessary hospital appointments.
I believe that if we individually separate incidences on what people do and don’t do, it’s easier for us see the things that show us that they care, although I appreciate it may not be that way for everyone. It of course doesn’t cancel out the things that should have been addressed, but it does go some way for us to understand those incidences a little better.
When we fail to look at the bigger picture of what others deal with and why they are like they are, we will always see what they fail to do as negativity. I believe sometimes it’s important to balance our thinking, so that we come to understand a little more.
It doesn’t excuse their behaviour and their lack of care, but it does go some way to explain their lack of care.