It’s taken me a long time to understand my parents, the bigger picture, the role they played, why my life would never be any different and why I came to struggle.
I remember a conversation I’d had with someone years ago about parents and that just because we become parents, doesn’t mean we are emotionally ready. Parents aren’t always equipped to nurture or support their children, particularly if they’ve not had the support themselves. They parent as they have been parented.
It’s what they know. When it comes to a child who copes with any form of disability, parents will cope even less. Unconsciously, they may also feel responsible and guilty that in some way they are to blame and may find it difficult to cope with the guilt. It’s not something they talk about.
Although a child doesn’t ask to be born with problems, there is also still very much a stigma behind what that child and the family have to deal with and that coupled with their parents’ already bruised emotions, is something parents find difficult.
I get it. It’s not that my father didn’t want to know what it was that I had been dealing with for all of those years. Through his insecurities he couldn’t deal with knowing. There is a difference.