I feel as though I am emotionally being tested right now on my resilience and patience. Having gone through minor surgery twice in about a month, I am now having to consider the possibility again.
Many years ago I had a blocked hair follicle removed by a doctor who was qualified in minor surgery, but as the surgery began to heal I was left with a skin tag that every now and again becomes inflamed, red and very sore.
It makes me feel angry because it’s beginning to challenge my other thoughts too on what I deal with. I was really at a low-ebb yesterday. I didn’t want to be some one else, but just wanted to be me without my problems. As I woke this morning things seem a little brighter.
I have now managed to get a cancellation from Thursday morning for my doctor’s appointment and also managed to get a cancellation appointment to see my Dermatologist for him to decide whether to operate. I have been given antibiotics, which should reduce the pain and inflammation to some extent, but I know I’ll probably have to have the skin tag removed. The antibiotics won’t take the problem away completely.
Now the summer months are also beginning to bother me. Bizarre I know, but just the way my mind works. I want to be able to wear what other people wear. I want to be able to wear sundresses, but know that I can’t. I want to be able to wear flip-flops and sandals, but know that I can’t. I want to be able to wear cargo pants and know that I can’t.
Having Cerebral Palsy, changes how I dress and my choice of clothes. The clothes that I like and would choose, I can’t wear. I know this is very unlike me, because I am usually so much stronger than this.
I’m banking on tomorrow, a new day and a new thought to put me on a much more positive footing.