I was asked the question recently about what makes me happy and I couldn’t quite answer the question straight without going round the houses a few times.
Without putting a total damper on things, when we’ve lived with trauma and conditions attached to our lives, I don’t believe we own that particular feeling. True happiness is a soul thing. It comes from the soul. It’s what our sole has or hasn’t had. If our soul has and continues to be nurtured, we will be happy.
I feel blessed to have my family in my life and blessed that I’m doing what I love to do in the shape of the Diary, but inwardly there is no getting away from the fact that I have lived with trauma. It’s not to say given half the chance we wouldn’t jump at the chance of wanting to live a different life, but we would have had to have had a different start, with different people around us for that to happen.
Is anyone truly happy? I’d like to think I do the best with what I’ve been given. Happiness isn’t something we just accrue when we feel like it. Stress often adds to how we feel, which is why retail therapy doesn’t work, because unless you correct what is fundamentally wrong, inwardly you will never know what being happy, truly means.
It’s not that someone can’t make you happy, but unless you take out all the factors you started with, you’re never going to be happy. When our lives are conditioned, our soul is conditioned and it’s that conditioning that stops us from being genuinely happy.
We must dig deep and peel back the layers. Take away any daily stress, and surround ourselves with people that we know can make us happy and make a difference, where we didn’t have that before.
If we don’t feel happy in our soul, we haven’t experienced true happiness. Unfortunately, everything we feel outwardly comes from the soul. I can’t stress that enough.