I was asked the question recently about what makes me happy and I couldn’t quite answer the question straight without going round the houses a few times.
Without putting a total damper on things, when we’ve lived with trauma and conditions attached to our lives, I don’t believe we own that particular feeling. True happiness is a soul thing. It comes from the soul. It’s what our sole has or hasn’t had. If our soul has and continues to be nurtured, we will be happy.
I feel blessed to have my family in my life and blessed that I’m doing what I love to do in the shape of the Diary, but inwardly there is no getting away that I have lived with trauma. Trauma has been my life. It’s not to say given half the chance I wouldn’t jump at the chance of having lived a different life, but I would have had to have a different start, with different people around me for that to happen.
I do the best with what I’ve been given. Happiness isn’t something we just accrue when we feel like it. Stress also adds to how we feel, which is probably why retail therapy doesn’t work, because unless you correct what is fundamentally wrong with your life or how you feel, inwardly you will never know what being happy means.
It’s not that someone can’t make you happy, because people can, but unless you take out all the other factors you started with and still live with, you’re never going to be truly happy. When our lives are conditioned, our soul is conditioned and it’s that conditioning that stops us from being genuinely happy.
We must try to dig deep and peel back the layers. Take away any daily stress, surround and continue to surround ourselves with people that we know can make us happy and make a difference, where we didn’t have that before.
I believe if we don’t feel happy in our soul, we haven’t experienced true happiness. Unfortunately, everything we feel outwardly comes from our soul. I can’t stress that enough.