Autism, a social awkwardness

The social awkwardness of autism is the most difficult to deal with. I have never really thought about how I present.

Growing up, I thought my physical disability was responsible for everything. I didn’t know autism was responsible for my mental and emotional disabilities. Although I have mild autism and I’m not high functioning, anyone with autism will struggle to interact on a level that is normal for others.

Autism is a social disorder which means on the autism spectrum you’re not only socially isolated, but you will demonstrate a social interaction that can’t always be explained by other factors, including short attention span, defiance and shyness. Those who are high functioning, can add aggressive behaviour to that list.

When I think about my mental and emotional struggles as a child, I can see that I had all the hall markings of autism. Whilst children can be inflexible, detached, and socially withdrawn and not have autism, there were small things that made me think I was different, particularly around my sensory issues and my difficulties with learning, being able to grasp things.

As I began to research into my physical disability, I knew that my sensory issues didn’t fit the cerebral palsy scenario. It’s taken years of research trying to piece my disability and symptoms together. I am pleased I know about autism, and welcome it because it has given me the most amazing memory. I could write without it.

With autism I am able to remember conversations as far back as a child. I can’t remember what I did yesterday, but my long-term memory is exceptional. I am thankful for that.


10 Feb, 2020

2 thoughts on “Autism, a social awkwardness

  1. I was able to see how autism presented itself through dealing with my niece. She did seem to have a very hard time with social awkwardness and didn’t spend a lot of time with other children.

    They seemed to have such a hard time with understanding her, but I usually figured out what was going on with her, since we connected on a different level.

    It was probably the same reason I was able to easily connect with my daughter and deal with her Cerebral Palsy issues while her Mother really struggled. It would be great if more people could be patient and tolerant.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, your last sentence rings true and you’re right. Autism is a mental and emotional disability.

      We need to have people who are patient and tolerant with us. You have proved this is all it takes to help someone with autism.

      Having understanding helps, but even where you don’t have understanding, tolerance goes a long way to at least help people like me know they care.

      Over the years it’s not something I’ve been a privy to. I cared too much where others didn’t care about me. If I had my time again I would do things differently.

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