The recent news about the Michael Jackson victims’ abuse story, has reaffirmed the need for me to confront the truth and why it is important for me to talk about my own story. Although it has taken me many years to get my diagnoses, understand and come to terms with my own journey, this is exactly why I do what I do and why I talk about things.
Since my official Autism diagnosis on the 11th January last month, I’ve gone through a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m getting there. When I was younger and my children were little, their problems were small. My being assertive seemed easier. I went with my gut instinct when it came to making decisions and it worked.
Although I didn’t know I had Autism then, everything seemed easier. Through Autism, bigger issues create more uncertainties for me and knowing what I want to say, isn’t the same as me being able to say it and take control. Where others are assertive, I fair better and my struggles aren’t noticeable.
Where others fail to give me definite answers on the things I need to know about, I struggle with anxiety and anxiety creates panic. It’s a vicious circle, I struggle with people’s vagueness and abstract concepts and that creates the anxiety I feel.
I appreciate that for those without ASD, being assertive isn’t easy, but with Autism it’s even less so. It’s important that for those like me with Autism, others model and continue to model appropriate behaviour towards us positively.
For us, it’s the most effective way for us to be assertive and for us to understand how we can communicate. Without either we become isolated and cut off.