I still have my moments of clarity when I continue to tell myself that it was okay that I didn’t know I had Cerebral Palsy until the age of 46. I am constantly reminded and that’s why I feel I am struggling a little bit.
I am also dealing with flu around me and am struggling to stay well myself. I am fighting a sore throat now and think my feelings of where I’m at with my Cerebral Palsy is compounded by things like illness and having to cope with other things, but hopefully this will pass as soon as everything is back to normal.
This stage and what I’m dealing with is certainly testing my resolve. I have cancelled my appointment with my Consultant on Thursday and have re-arranged another one for the same time next week. Luckily my lesion doesn’t seem to be bothering me.
Having lived my life with no emotional support has made me stronger in some respects, but has also made me weaker too. I say weaker because never have been given the tools to cope, things hit hard when they hit.
There are times when I feel stronger, more focused and in control of my life; there will always be times just like these, where I feel differently again; revert back and have to fight back again.