Behind the facade

We hide our emotions behind a mask. We put on a facade telling the the world that all is well, when in reality our thoughts and feelings tell a different story.

But putting on a facade, means we keep hidden who we really are under the superficial exterior and in doing so create a fictional self that becomes a safety barrier to our authentic self. To the outside world we keep up the pretence and the illusion that we can cope, that we’re managing, when in reality we feel very different.

The problem is that as we continue to live behind the façade we will begin to convince ourselves that we’re all the things we tell the world we are. We hide behind our feelings because it’s easier, because we don’t have to face dealing with them. We hide because someone or something has made us feel like that. A controlling parent; an insecure childhood, anything.

Looking back now I can see that my innate beliefs as a child unconsciously saved me from living behind a façade. Although I learned not to question my circumstances, or life growing up; I muddled through until such a time I could make my own choices and move on.

I have always believed that as long as we understand why we emulate a particular behaviour, there’s no reason why we can’t change that behaviour. We may not be able to change our circumstances completely, but managing small changes within our own remit, would be the way to go.

I’m not convinced that living behind a façade is the right place for any of us to stay. Just think how much of life we’d miss. We must take control of our life before our life takes control of us.

8 Dec, 2013

4 thoughts on “Behind the facade

  1. I think I hid behind a façade when I was in high school. Everyone was under the illusion that I was “easy” or more like a slut. I wasn’t popular.

    I didn’t have any friends per say, but I was known in certain circles and a lot of people talked about me and made up stories that “they had been with me.” I was “popular” in that sense and in actuality, I was struggling with the fact that I wasn’t really popular and didn’t know who I was.

    I was over protected by my parents and people my age were really afraid to socialize with me because they were afraid of my illness. Now I don’t really care what people say.

    I know who I am and the people that really know me, knows who I am. I don’t put on a different face. People know what I go through and what I’ve been through.

    1. Thanks Lisa. For me this is why school doesn’t work. The playground is a breeding place for hatred amongst school children. Poor you, your experiences must have been awful.

      It’s not surprising you hid behind these problems, but I’m so pleased you choose not to care now, because as you say people who know you and want to spend time with you will do so, the others who fleetingly come into your life and aren’t there for you, not so much.

      It can be a cruel world sometimes.

  2. I agree we do tend to hide behind a facade. It’s kind of built into us as kids, so we don’t really learn to be honest with ourselves and others until we’re much older and some people never learn at all.

    Also, I think we still need to take people’s feelings into account rather than just deal with the brutal truth all the time. We are social animals after all.

    1. You’re right, it’s what we’re taught; just such a shame we’re not taught to be ourselves.

      I think it depends on who and what we’re dealing with. I think we learn very quickly and know who we can trust and who we can’t. I would suggest being honest, not such of the brutal, but we do have to say what’s on our mind.

      We can tell people how we feel, we just have to make sure we express how we feel appropriately. If more of us did, we’d have less reason to live behind a facade.

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