Being conciliatory

I am sure many of us will go out of our way to help family, or for them to help us when we need it the most.

For many of us though, the realities of what we deal with differ and as much as we try to work things through, sometimes we’re left to evaluate our own circumstances and change what is, to how we want and need things to be.

Stress in families is one of the reasons why families are far from conciliatory. We all have issues that we deal with, but we should also give thought to other family members and what they may be going through. That way we’re more likely to be more conciliatory and helpful towards one another. It works both ways.

We should all try to be conciliatory, regardless of what’s going on. Being conciliatory helps build and keep relationships healthy. Whether you’re the child, parent or grandparent, fitting your life in with other family members must involve compromise, give ‘n’ take and communication, all of which are important and make for better relationships.

Some will continually try too hard to make their relationships work, whilst others probably won’t try hard enough. Some of us may take family for granted, because they let us. We assume, wrongly that family stick together and always will, so we don’t try to work at anything.

Finally, where there’s a history and a power struggle between two people in the same family who have strong personalities and a history together, those problems unfortunately will seem unavoidable and inevitable.


2 Sep, 2012

4 thoughts on “Being conciliatory

  1. I agree. My family is strange. We have a huge family and we’re basically close.

    There doesn’t seem to be any conflict that I’m aware of and never has been, but not all of us are treated the same way by the others.

    I felt I was shunned most of my life due to being rebellious as a teen and getting into trouble a lot. Now my cousin that I grew up with and was very close to most of my life won’t hardly talk to me and I think it may be a jealousy thing. She needs to get over it and accept things the way they are. I have started doing that myself.

    Just accepting people for who they are and not judging them for what they have done in the past.

    1. I believe it can be and to some degree is the nature some families work.

      Your last sentence holds true Lisa and should be the way families are… accept them for who they are and not stand in judgment or hold opinions.

  2. Same issue in my family between my mum and her half sister. Unfortunately, my aunty takes it out on me and my sister by excluding us from certain events; which is pretty sad.

    1. It’s sad that families don’t seem to be able to separate their issues, but this is clearly something your aunt needs to deal with, without including you or your sister.

      ‘The sins of the parents are visited upon the children.’ I believe that saying to be true. It’s been part of my life too.

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