Although I grew up in an era when children were seen and not heard, those times made it easier for me to become invisible.
Being invisible usually happens because of an undercurrent, a disparity between how we feel and how something is. Emotionally, it’s easy to feel distant and feeling invisible is an example of this. Feeling invisible is all about what’s going on internally. How we feel about ourselves and how we choose what we present to the world.
It’s not something others will comprehend or understand, but we know it exists for us. For those people with little understanding, it may even be dismissed, minimised or ignored. Being invisible to the world is only something we notice, to the untrained eye this scenario doesn’t exist, but it’s real.
Being invisible has nothing to do with how we look to another person, or how much physical room we take up, it’s about our worth, self-esteem, confidence and how little we feel we can physically and emotionally present ourselves to the world at any given time. It’s a coping mechanism, one that keeps us safe and secure.
It’s a hide-out, a space we occupy until such a time we feel strong enough to come out. It feels normal and for all intents and purposes it is normal. It’s something we come to accept as the norm, but something that we can change at any time. For myself, being invisible meant there was no right or wrong way for me to feel, it was whatever I had to deal with at the time.
Being invisible meant I had somewhere to go when things didn’t feel right. It was my retreat, it saved me. Being invisible allowed me to tap into my emotions, to explore my thoughts, feelings and emotions and how I eventually went on to see the world and other people.
Being invisible doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice ourselves individually, it simply means us not having to be assertive all the time and choosing when we decide to fit in. Choosing when we fit in, may begin to reflect a deeper sense of our self-confidence than us having to stand out.