Being self-critical

Being self-critical stems from our core beliefs, which unless corrected will continue. But how many of us are aware that every time we say something we are self-critiquing?

We need to be aware this is what we’re doing and not take offence, when someone tells us we’re being self-critical and negative about ourselves. If you choose to look at something positively you will see only positive. In effect, we create our thoughts so why not create positive thoughts.

I grew up with negativity around me. It wasn’t something I was consciously aware of at the time, but as time went by I became aware of which family members were positive and negative. Given what I was dealing with, I remember making a conscious decision that I wasn’t going to be negative. I’d seen enough to know I didn’t want to be that way.

With patience, practice and determination there is no reason why we cannot change. It’s all about perceptions and how you see yourself. If someone tells you you’re being negative or critical about yourself, accept that you probably are. That’s the first thing.

The problem for many of us is that we take what is said about us, as a slur on our characters. But what others say about us should be taken as constructive and not personal.

It’s true that we cannot change others, we can only change our own perceptions. It starts and ends with us.


30 Dec, 2011

8 thoughts on “Being self-critical

  1. I used to be critical of myself a lot, but I have since quit doing it.

    I have no vocal opinions of myself much and if someone tells me I am I accept it because they’re probably right.

    1. It’s good that you’ve quit Lisa. I’m pleased.

      I always think it’s best to try to see what’s being said as something constructive; something we can work to change. If it helps us to strive to bring about more calm into our lives through change, then that has to be a good thing.

  2. Everything you have said here is very true. I tend at times to be very hard on myself.

    I like you grew up with a negative parent. It does nothing for ones self-esteem. I am learning to try and be good to myself so I can be a happier person.

  3. I’ve been hard on myself for so long, I’m not sure if I would know how to do things any different!

    It would be nice if I could live without all the constant self-criticism. I’m hoping and praying that it will be possible someday.

    1. You can make it possible Randy. Just let go and be kind to yourself. Embrace all of your triumphs and be okay with your failures too.

      I believe failing at something as long as we don’t give up, shapes our ability to move forward so that we go on to experience more things. We learn more through our failings than we do our successes.

  4. This is beautiful Ilana.

    I definitely need to take your advice and apply it to my life. I tend to take things too personal.

    Thanks for allowing me to look at it this way. This is beautiful… and it all should be taken as constructive, just the way it is meant to be.

    You are wonderful. Thanks for helping me to become the person I want to be!

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