Being self-critical

Being self-critical stems from our core beliefs, which unless corrected will continue. But how many of us are actually aware that every time we say something we’re being critical, self-critical at that? We perhaps need to be aware that is what we are and not take offence if someone happens to mention that is what they think we are.

Negativity wasn’t something I was consciously are of, but the older I got the more conscious I was of the family dynamics. It was easier at that point to see where all the negativity was coming from. I’d also seen enough to last me a lifetime and knew I didn’t want to be or live my life that way.

But with understanding, patience and practice, there is no reason why if we are being self-critical we cannot change. It’s all about perceptions and how we see ourselves. If someone tells us we’re being negative, even critical, accept that we probably are.

The first step for us is to recognise those traits in us. What others say should always be taken as constructive and not personal.

30 Dec, 2011

8 thoughts on “Being self-critical

  1. I used to be critical of myself a lot, but I have since quit doing it.

    I have no vocal opinions of myself much and if someone tells me I am I accept it because they’re probably right.

    1. It’s good that you’ve quit Lisa. I’m pleased.

      I always think it’s best to try to see what’s being said as something constructive; something we can work to change. If it helps us to strive to bring about more calm into our lives through change, then that has to be a good thing.

  2. Everything you have said here is very true. I tend at times to be very hard on myself.

    I like you grew up with a negative parent. It does nothing for ones self-esteem. I am learning to try and be good to myself so I can be a happier person.

  3. I’ve been hard on myself for so long, I’m not sure if I would know how to do things any different!

    It would be nice if I could live without all the constant self-criticism. I’m hoping and praying that it will be possible someday.

    1. You can make it possible Randy. Just let go and be kind to yourself. Embrace all of your triumphs and be okay with your failures too.

      I believe failing at something as long as we don’t give up, shapes our ability to move forward so that we go on to experience more things. We learn more through our failings than we do our successes.

  4. This is beautiful Ilana.

    I definitely need to take your advice and apply it to my life. I tend to take things too personal.

    Thanks for allowing me to look at it this way. This is beautiful… and it all should be taken as constructive, just the way it is meant to be.

    You are wonderful. Thanks for helping me to become the person I want to be!

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