Being self-critical

Being self-critical stems from our core beliefs, which unless corrected will continue. But how many of us are actually aware that every time we say something, we are self-critiquing? We need to be aware and not take offence when someone tells us that we’re being self-critical and negative about ourselves.

When we grow up surrounded by negativity, it’s not something we will always consciously be aware of, but as we grow and we begin to take more notice of our environment, we will become more aware of the family dynamics and negativity.

Being positive can sometimes be difficult if you’re living around negativity, but we must make a conscious decision that where we are subjected to negativity, we aren’t going to participate in being critical about ourselves.

By understanding family dynamics and our lives better, and with practice, there is no reason why we can’t shift from being self-critical to self-assured. It’s all about our perceptions, how we see ourselves and how we perceive our lives. But if someone tells you that you are being self-critical, you should perhaps listen.

The first step is to recognise our behaviour patterns. What others say about us should be taken as constructive, not personal.


30 Dec, 2011

8 thoughts on “Being self-critical

  1. I used to be critical of myself a lot, but I have since quit doing it.

    I have no vocal opinions of myself much and if someone tells me I am I accept it because they’re probably right.

    1. It’s good that you’ve quit Lisa. I’m pleased.

      I always think it’s best to try to see what’s being said as something constructive; something we can work to change. If it helps us to strive to bring about more calm into our lives through change, then that has to be a good thing.

  2. Everything you have said here is very true. I tend at times to be very hard on myself.

    I like you grew up with a negative parent. It does nothing for ones self-esteem. I am learning to try and be good to myself so I can be a happier person.

  3. I’ve been hard on myself for so long, I’m not sure if I would know how to do things any different!

    It would be nice if I could live without all the constant self-criticism. I’m hoping and praying that it will be possible someday.

    1. You can make it possible Randy. Just let go and be kind to yourself. Embrace all of your triumphs and be okay with your failures too.

      I believe failing at something as long as we don’t give up, shapes our ability to move forward so that we go on to experience more things. We learn more through our failings than we do our successes.

  4. This is beautiful Ilana.

    I definitely need to take your advice and apply it to my life. I tend to take things too personal.

    Thanks for allowing me to look at it this way. This is beautiful… and it all should be taken as constructive, just the way it is meant to be.

    You are wonderful. Thanks for helping me to become the person I want to be!

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