The cycle may continue into adulthood, but how many of us will continue to blame our parents for the way we turn out?
I can see why some parents get blamed, but how long can we continue to blame our parents for our misgivings, without taking back some form of control back for ourselves? Many of us will have been hurt emotionally and psychologically, and in some cases physically too, and that’s totally unacceptable.
But to blame and still live your life through your parents and not your own, to emulate certain aspects of your upbringing, is to deny yourself the chance to leave your past behind and be at peace. The more we blame our parents, the more we will continue to be in denial. Living in denial, not choosing to take back responsibility, will only serve to hurt us more.
Even though we may have reasons to blame our parents, it must be more beneficial for us to move on. As adults, our life stops being about our parents and must start to be about us, therefore we shouldn’t continue to blame and make our life about them.
The problem with not letting go is that over time we begin to lose our sense of reason, hope and optimism, and that destroys any potential we have. When we are able to look at ourselves and let go of the anger and resentment and begin to rebuild our life, we will have understood how to live.
We are never fully prepared for parenthood. I believe that if any parent could have done it better, they would have. None of us goes to school to learn how to be a parent, but we must always do and give of our best. We must use our experiences, as a stepping-stone so that we get to change our lives. When our children become adults, would we really want them blaming us?