As the adult, how many of us will continue to blame our parents for the way we turn out? It’s obvious why we point the finger and in some cases justified, but how long can we continue to blame our parents for our misgivings without taking back some form of control for ourselves?
Many of us will have been hurt, emotionally, psychologically and physically too and that’s totally unacceptable; but to continue to blame and still live your life through your parents, to emulate certain aspects of your upbringing is to deny yourself the chance to leave your past behind and be at peace.
The more we blame, the more we will live in denial and living in denial: not choosing to take responsibility back, will only hurt us more. Even though we may have reason to blame our parents, it is more beneficial for us to move on. As an adult, our life must stop being about our parents and more about us. We shouldn’t make our life about them.
Not letting go means that over time we will begin to lose our sense of reason, our sense of hope, sense of optimism and that destroys any future potential we have. When we can look and let go of the anger and resentment, when we can begin to build our own life back up, we will understand our life more.
I don’t believe any parent if they could have done better, wouldn’t have. Although none of us go to school to learn how to be a parent, we must always do and give of our best.
We must use our experiences as a stepping-stone so that we change our children’s lives and our relationship with them. After all, when our children become adults, would we want them blaming us?