I have never understood why or how all of my thinking is in black and white terms, but have come to learn that many individuals with developmental disability think this way. It’s how we cope.
Sadly, that means my life is based around rules and feels uncomfortable when I’m faced with scenarios that aren’t black and white, but grey. I have never been fully aware of why I work a certain way up until now and admit that I have often felt slightly stressed when I’m taken out of my routine.
Although I know I am capable of working through grey areas, I become irritable when I have to deal with them because they are not part of that black and white scenario where things are completely crystal clear. Grey areas revolve around unsolved issues that take time to resolve and can make me feel anxious and panicky.
Grey areas make me irritable because the answers I need aren’t always there straight away. I do better with small issues and scenarios that have a clear ending in sight. Black and white scenarios are predictable, their answers are clear and therefore my thought process is too.
Sadly, following this thought pattern often means there are no exceptions to the way I think and the rules apply to everyone I come into contact with. My routine is familiar and I thrive that way, but I understand how it can be frustrating for others.
Although I work well in my routine with what I deal with, it sadly doesn’t fit in with how others work and that can be a big problem.