Blanking things out

Blanking something out doesn’t mean the thing we have blanked out didn’t happen. Sadly, we spend a lifetime blanking experiences and conversations out, so we don’t have to remember as we continue to live in denial over those things.

I have always seen things as they are and how I know them to be. I remember circumstances when they happen, in the same way I remember conversations and that’s because my senses are even more heightened because of my neurological disorder. Conversations could have taken place 20 years ago and I will still remember those conversations as if they took place today.

Unfortunately, blanking out experiences will never release us from the initial experience. As those experiences continue to reside in our unconscious, at some point, we will still have to go back in and deal with them. I suspect when we hit a bend in the road, when we begin to emotionally struggle, the issues we’ve blanked will bring back the experiences, we’ve chosen to bury.

I haven’t chosen to blank out the issues that involved other people’s decisions, particularly around my physical and emotional issues. Instead I have chosen to deal with them. Yes, those were painful times, not only because of my struggles, but also because my environment didn’t lend itself to a happy childhood.

I could have quite happily blanked out those experiences, but I’d still be dealing with those experiences now. I believe the universe although it can’t always help us at that time we need the help, the universe is aware we struggle and will try to help where it can; but others must be instrumental and receptive to change.

It’s important to talk about our issues and not blank them out, as if they didn’t exist. Sadly, issues will always come back in new circumstances, further down the line.

12 Sep, 2017

8 thoughts on “Blanking things out

  1. Yes, that is so very true, as in I’m having to really look at some of the traumatic events that led up to me having PTSD from them.

    There were a lot of things that happened that I wasn’t able to deal with as a child, so I had to consciously choose to blank them out just to survive. The biggest problem is that you can only do that so many times, before all of those feelings start to come out what I like to call sideways, as in strange behaviors and emotional outbursts that don’t make sense at the time.

    People seem to think that someone who, say, goes on a shooting rampage just snaps all of a sudden, but there are usually underlying causes and conditions. They so often have been blanking things out for a very long time and they just explode, seemingly without provocation!

    It does seem to be that the same issues keep coming up when you haven’t dealt with the core issues, like me ending up in so many extremely dysfunctional relationships; even though I don’t want to.

    It doesn’t make any logical sense, especially this time around; considering I had a chance to be with a woman who could be a model and actually loved me. I allowed other people (mainly my daughter) to sway my decision and have regretted it ever since.

    The worst part of it all is that she has since died so that will never again be an option. My point being that choosing not to deal with my issues has kept me trapped by that paralyzing fear that has ruled my life for far too long.

    There is only so much time I have left to work on them, so I need to get busy doing just that before it ends up being far too late to make the best of the time I do have.

    1. I think your experiences show that we must follow our gut and our decisions, rather than we swayed by other people’s opinions of what they think we should do. I know someone personally with similar experiences.

      I think you’re right Randy, unless we deal with the core issues, they will always come back. In fact they never really leave us. They just wait in the wings until we can no longer ignore them.

      I’m smiling because if I had chosen to blank out my own issues, the site wouldn’t exist and I’ve have nothing to write about. I’m so pleased I haven’t.

      It’s important we deal with our issues and not blank things out. Not to opens the door to illness eventually.

  2. I blank out all too often. I think it’s my own way of dealing with it. Every now and then I’ll talk about it to get it out, then after the conversation, I’ll tuck it away again.

    It could be why I cut ties with people so quickly; people I used to be close to. They’ve hurt me or my family, so I cut them off almost immediately.

    1. You’ve every right to cut people out of your life who hurt you and your family Bonnie. But as you have shown Bonnie, those things we blank out will always come back.

      I find it sad that we find ourselves having to take these kind of measures, but it’s the nature of how some families are, sadly. I’ve heard it said it’s a human failing and believe that to be true.

      There would be no need, if we all behaved in the way we know we should behave before things like greed and jealousy set in.

      That’s the usual reason why families fall out.

  3. I often recall conversations and events from an earlier period in my life, because my past is suspended between two realities, which I reference now and then.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, that’s absolutely right. Our past should be a reference point for us to learn and do better in our present, because that sets up our future.

      Sadly though, so many of us ignore their past because they don’t want to deal with the experience and trauma attached to it.

  4. I agree completely with your post here. I have experienced those challenges personally, with deciding whether to confront an experience or simply let it pass by. Some more difficult than others.

    I also see this in my work place, with co-workers and volunteers etc. I think it’s an important skill for anyone to learn. Since I work in a traumatic medical environment, I always stress the importance of speaking about issues, whether that be emotional hardship, personal hardship etc that maybe a patient or family reminds you of and help people process their experience.

    I often see this with students or newer professionals. But of course nobody regardless of age of experience is immune to it.

    1. Thanks LeAnna. Yes, it’s important to say how we feel, talk about our issues. Your last paragraph sums up your response beautifully, with first-hand knowledge in your work. Keep up the good work.

      That no one regardless of age is immune to having to deal with issues they’ve blanked out. Sadly, the issues we struggle with are the issues we blank out.

      I think if more of us dealt with our issues instead of ignoring them, we’d deal with life better, situations better and would deal with ourselves and each other better.

      We’d also have less illness to deal with, but realistically I’m not sure people still make the correlation between issues, emotional health and illness.

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